Surprising Secrets We Keep from Our Partner

Though honesty is the basis of a lasting relationship, there are just some things that are hard to admit and better left unsaid. Some bring back the hurt and anxiety. So it is better to leave those memories behind.

secrets we must hide from our partner

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Keeping some things away from your partner might be for their own good. But whatever you think they should know about to help them decide if they want to continue with you in the relationship, it is important you let them know. For instance: reproduction issues shouldn’t be swept under the carpet as it will show up soon in your loving relationship. Telling your partner about such problem or health challenge is very important. And perhaps they decide to go on with the relationship, they will be there for you when you need them the most. They might come up with ideas to help you have children and you won’t feel terrible of yourself anymore.

Ever wonder why we keep secrets from our partner?

Note that saying, “If a person truly loved you, they’d accept you for the things you did”is not really reassuring. We want to be loved the way we are, and not because of our past and the things we’ve done. But have you checked yourself to see if there is a character or habit you need to drop?

The secrets we keep are those that we think could damage our relationships or leave us open to judgment that we aren’t prepared for.

Our insecurities and beliefs keep us from revealing some of the things that we’re ashamed of. Knowing that most people don’t react well to some secrets can make us think twice about telling people about it.

Read: 12 Male Insecurities That Women Don’t Realize

Sometimes, we hear people react negatively to other people’s circumstances. If we are experiencing the same things, our observations tell us that revealing the same secrets can make us defenseless to that type of judgment as well.

Can a secret stay secret?

Most secrets don’t stay secret forever, especially if someone else knows about it. In fact, ones you tell a third party, it is no more a secret. The problem occurs when those secrets get out, and the person on the receiving end hasn’t had time to process said information.

It’s true that you need to be open about everything in order to move forward in your relationships, but some people need more time to process the information that they want to reveal. Apart from that, your partner needs to be ready to accept the things that you want to reveal to them. You can’t just tell someone about your mental disorder on the first date. It doesn’t work like that.

You need to know your partner better and see if they are the type of person who won’t judge you for the things that you have no control over. You can’t control how they will react, but you can at least build enough trust to be comfortable about telling them your secrets. It is best you don’t delay like forever before letting it out. There are some issues or secrets you don’t need to wait before letting out. Reproductive secrets can wait until you see that the person is really talking about the future with you. Else just keep it to yourself.

Some secrets are trivial and can be revealed in due time. Some, however, are more serious and requires a significant amount of trust between two people before they can be divulged. The list below contains some of the most common secrets we keep. Some of them are very important in keeping your relationship stable, while others are just little things that we want to keep to ourselves.

Some of the secrets we keep are:

1. Family predicament.

We’ve lived with our family since day one of our lives. We know how it feels, so we’re not sure whether or not a partner will want to join in on the crazy.

2. The number of people we’ve slept with on the first date.

“I don’t usually do this on the first date. ”Yeah, right. And you gave in. It’s just another lie to present yourself righteous to your new found partner. In your next relationship, you still use this line.

Read: 27 Tips to Sweet Talk And Make Him Like You

3. When you want to knot the tie.

Honestly, any date that’s available is good for most women. But for most men, it’s more of a question of if they want to get married. Date is not an issue. It is for them to decide when they are finally ready.

4. The number of people you’ve slept with.

With reference to #2, women are known to shave a few points off of that number to prove a point or two of how promiscuous they are not, while men are more likely to add to it to prove they are agile on bed. As much as we’d like to admit it to our partners, it’s still a sensitive subject that can make or break a relationship. The right answer to this question might make a partner question their love for you, can bring or make them insecure. It might also lead to low-self esteem of a partner.

5. Disgusting habits we can’t stop.

You know those habits that are not cool but it has become a part of you. Like picking on an ingrown hair, drinking out of the milk carton. The list goes on. But it’s so hard to stop.

Read: Annoying 10 Big Habits That Guys Hate-Ladies Watch Out!

Read: Annoying 30 Habits That Every Girl Hate – Men Watch Out!

6. Mental disorders.

When people jokingly say you’re crazy, all you can do is smile and sip on your cup of win. Although this is something that should be discussed early on in the relationship, the stigma on having a diagnosed mental disorder still keeps people from admitting the truth.

7. Past relationships with their friends.

You know the girl code and guy code right? That doesn’t apply if we really like the person. It should, but it won’t, so most people just work very hard to deny, and cover up these past rendezvous.

8. Blocked or blacklisted contacts.

If they ever saw it, there would be so many, many questions. Questions that we don’t have half the answers to.

Read: 26 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Unexpectedly Hurts You

9. What we were like in high school.

What we looked like doesn’t matter as much as who we were. If we were mean, that info’s going in the vault. If we were losers, that info’s going in there, too. It’s our little secret.

10. The serious stuff.

Abortions, abusive exes, rape, drug addictions, terrifying habits, etc. What matters is that some people need time to resolve themselves to opening up about these things with their partner in the present. So they just pretend it never happened or stylishly drops it or tell you the surface to see how you will react. They way you react to the little they tell you will determine if they will let it all out.

11. Our true insecurities.

Appearances and career accomplishments are the usual suspects when it comes to insecurities, but some can go deeper, like questioning one’s self-worth or their ability to keep a relationship, especially if they’ve had so many relations fails.

Read: Female Insecurities That Most Men Don’t Grasp

12. Our feelings about things they like.

That shirt looks so cool on you, I love football too, your basement in the middle of summer is so comfy, I love your political view, yes, I love rap music, oh that’s my type of movie. All lies.

13. What you look like when you sleep.

Those itchy, lacy thingies that women wear every night. This spotless face beside yours go through a lot when you aren’t there. It is usually slathered with gunk, serums, cream, and a cherry on top. Smiles. But all you see is a beautiful face and a gorgeous smile.

14. The books we read.

Why do you think the paperback romance novel genre is still earning billions every year, well, you don’t hear that much about it right? Many people lie about their favorite book and I still don’t know why. We don’t have to like the same thing. Relationship is all about understanding and respecting each other and what they love.

15. What we’re like around our friends.

Whenever you’re with your partner, you tend to transform into a modern version of you, don’t you? Some people don’t reveal their playful side to their partner. They feel their partner will call them names for being themselves. So when they are with their friends, it’s a all new version of themselves.

16. What our bedrooms look like.

Probably you’re a slob, admitting that your bedroom doesn’t look normal can still be very difficult to say to your partner especially if their bedroom is all tidy up.

17. What we looked like during our high school days.

No matter how good or hot we looked, it was still in high school. It’s like your mom showing you how hot she looked wearing hot pink leg warmers and shoulder pads in her sweaters. Sorry, that was high school.

18. The depth of our relationship with our pets.

It’s hard to let your partner know that in the eventuality of a raging fire in your apartment, you’ll save the cat before them.

19. How much our clothes and shoes cost.

20. College years.

That we can’t remember anything that happened before graduation day. Irony.

21. Credit reports or credit score.

When your partner realizes that they’re dating a shopaholic, that December wedding probably won’t materialize anytime soon.

22. Our high school date(s).

Admitting who we dated in high school just leaves room for us to explain what happened when we were dating said people. Trust me, High school romances are not for the faint of heart. So must people keep this in the Vault. “what happens in Vegas stays in vegas”.

23. What our friends are really like.

We love them to death, but we could kill them sometimes. Some of the things they do are not fit for public consumption, let alone your partner’s. Friends could be crazy.

24. How we eat.

The issue of not eating what we want in public is so obsolete. The real thing is hiding how much you put in your mouth, if you chew with your mouth open, or if you even use utensils at all.

Whatever your secrets are, just know that you should always be honest with yourself. Keeping things to yourself is okay, only if it’s not going to hunt you one day. The secret that you’re keeping shouldn’t cause anyone harm too.

An example would be keeping an abusive relationship with your family from your significant other. A secret like getting your upper lips waxed is no big deal. But if you’re harboring a secret that could possibly affect your relationship, you should think twice about hiding it or discussing it honestly with your partner.

Secrets exist because being honest with someone means that you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Once you’re ready to open up to someone, those secrets will start to become shared secrets – which is so much better because someone else is helping you carry the weight of it all.

Picture: Pixabay
Surprising Secrets We Keep from Our Partner Surprising Secrets We Keep from Our Partner Reviewed by Civian on 00:30 Rating: 5

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