Think you can spot a liar?
One of the most annoying, frustrating, disrespectful
and even insolent things one can do is lie to your face. No matter how little
you call the lie, even if it’s just a modest white lie that shouldn’t cause any
harm, it’s still exasperating enough for you to get angry. But how do you know
if they’re really lying to you?
Nobody wants to blow up at another only to find out they
were telling the truth and nothing but the truth. So, how do you know if you’ve
got a right to be angry? What if you’re just making a big fuss out of
nothing? I’m sure you want to avoid this scenario.
Read: 25 Ways To Avoid
Unfaithfulness In Your Relationship
Lying about microscopic things could have little or
no effect at the moment, but could have a big negative outcome over a period of
time. But lying about something serious could be enough to write a friend off. A
real friend will remain true to you no matter the circumstances. How can you
trust somebody if they have the audacity to lie to your face over and over
again? No matter how negative the reality is, it’s worse that they lied to you.
The truth may hurt, but lies hurt much more.
Lying
is harmful.
Lying hurts everybody. Age is not a barrier to the
hurt lies cause. There is no situation in which lying produces a long lasting positive
outcome. Even if the outcome was positive, it won’t outlive the truth. Meanwhile,
for the person who is lying, it creates nervousness, which can cause long-term
damage. As for the person who is being lied to, their self-esteem can take a punch.
In addition, the person who is being lied to will become much more distrustful
of people around them.
Even white lies can be pretty harmful. No matter how
negative the truth is, it’s better to know than be deceived. For most of us,
the opportunity to handle the truth is way much valuable. Even if the facts are
hurtful, we can start to process them without the extra pain of being lied to. It’s
like trying to outsmart someone when in the real sense, you just can’t.
Why
is it important to know how to tell if someone’s lying?
What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? Very wrong.
It is important to know if someone is lying to you because
living a lie is always worse than living with the truth. Lying hurts way more than
truth. Being able to tell if somebody is lying shows you if they’re a true
friend or not and it will help you decide if you should cut ties immediately.
For instance, imagine you’ve been walking around all
day with visible oily stain on your dress. You’ve had a pretty busy day of
meetings and commuting from one event to another and hundreds of people have
seen you humiliate yourself and still put up a good smile with you.
You get home and ask your partner, roommate, your
bestie or a relative: “why were people staring and laughing at me all day? Is
there something wrong with my dress? Is it my hair?” The person you’re asking has
two options here. They can either lie and save your feelings at the moment or
they can tell you the honest truth and help you regain your confidence immediately.
A friend who doesn’t truly want the best for you is
fake and will lie in this situation and say that nothing is wrong. You might
feel a little better immediately. But then, when you go into the bathroom or
want to change your dress and discover that nasty, icky trail of oil you’ve
been showcasing in front of all those people… you’ll feel terrible about
yourself. You won’t just feel embarrassed that you looked silly, you’ll also
feel hurt that your loved one lied straight to your face.
If they’d just been honest with you, sure, it
would’ve made you go red in the face. But at least you’d comfort yourself with
the facts that you’ve got a kind and trustworthy friend.
This is why it’s so important to know how to tell if
somebody is lying. It saves you a lot of pain. Plus, if you can recognize when
somebody’s a false friend, you can surround yourself with honest, genuine
people. Nobody needs liars in their life.
There’re lots of ways to tell if someone’s lying.
There are tell-tale vocal, physical and behavioral signs and can’t be covered
up. This feature will show you how to spot a liar so that you can tell fake
friends from the real ones.
As if lying isn’t hurtful enough, someone lying
right to your face is a punch below the belt. After all, they lack the respect
to tell you the truth and that’s disrespectful.
How
to tell if someone is lying to your face
If you really want to be able to spot someone lying
to your face so you can call them out on it, here are some of the signs to
watch out for.
1. Their
story doesn’t add up with who they really are.
Take note of this: if suddenly your timid and
reserved friend starts talking about how they went out and got in some wild
scrape, they’re probably lying. Similarly, if your extroverted friend was too
afraid to act wild in front of people, they might be lying as well. When their
story doesn’t really make sense with who they are as a person, they could be
lying right to your face about their true personality.
2. Sudden too
much hand gesticulation.
This may not mean anything if the person who is
talking to you usually uses a ton of hand gestures. That means, it’s a part of
them. Nevertheless, if someone is using too many hand gestures than they usually
do, it could be a sign of lying.
They may subconsciously move their hands a lot
during a story to ward off your attention from what they’re actually saying.
They want to bring the focus to their hands and arms to distract you from
focusing on their face or eye. Don’t let this fool you thinking they’re being
shy or funny.
3. They
avoid eye contact.
This should come top right? The first and easy tipoff
to detect a liar is if they avoid looking at you in the eye when they’re
talking. Remember how your parents always demanded: “Look me in the eye! when
you did something wrong and lied about it as a child? This is because avoiding
eye contact is the first clear sign that somebody is definitely lying.
If you ask someone a question and they immediately turn
their eye away from you before responding, they may be lying. They feel anxious
about lying, so they are afraid to meet your eye.
4. Covering
their mouth or eyes.
With reference to #3, it won’t be that noticeable!
But if somebody covers their mouth or eyes, then, they’re
trying to hide some of the other tell-tale signs of a liar discussed in this article.
They might rub their face to avoid having eye
contact or even cover their mouth with their hand as if they’re “thinking” or rubbing
something off their lips. Whichever gesture they go for, anything that covers
their mouth or eyes is a clue of lying.
5. They fool
around with their hair.
This is most evident with someone who has long
enough hair. If a long-haired person starts twisting their hair around their
finger(s) while talking could be a sign they’re lying to your face and trying to
hide their anxiety at the same time.
Meanwhile, it could also be a sign that they’re
flirting with you. However, both flirting and lying are all about putting the
right image across. So, if they aren’t somebody you think might be romantically
interested in you, they’re probably still trying to put across an image – lies.
6. They seem
anxious.
Sweating is a sure sign that someone is lying to
your face. Though, that is if they don’t have it as a medical condition. Their
pupils might also dilate. This happens when someone is lying, their body
becomes nervous. Their body responds to this emotion with an increased heart
rate and a flight response.
Blood flow throughout the entire body increases as heart
rate increases. Seeing someone sweat and their face flush red indicates a liar
stands right in front of you.
Asking someone a simple question and you see signs
of nervousness could indicate the person is lying to your face.
7. Changes
in vocal tone.
In addition to been nervous, some people, their vocal tone changes. It is either too high,
or it’s too low. There’s something about their vocal tone that sounds off. If
somebody is trying to add some authority to their lie, they’ll lower their voice
to sound more serious. But if somebody is nervous, their voice will get higher.
Also, their voice might go up and down over
different parts of the lie. The more nervous you get, the less control you have
over your voice. So, if somebody’s voice sounds weird, they’re probably lying.
8. If they are
hesitant when giving information.
If they stammer over their words or just by hesitating
when you ask for details or explanation about a particular situation, knowing
they don’t stutter over words, it’s a sign they’re lying straight to your face.
Normally, truth flows out naturally without need to think about it. On the
other hand, lies tend to take some time to formulate; hence the hesitation.
9. Their
details are sketchy.
With reference to #8, if their response doesn’t have
enough details to make sense, it’s another giveaway sign that they’re really lying
to your face. This is because they can’t maintain their storyline fast enough
while standing on their feet. They need to make up details. So they just go
with the least amount of details and hope you stop asking questions. Don’t stop!
10. They
have far too many details.
With reference to #9, on the flip side, some people
often give way too many details that are not needed when lying. They do this
because they don’t want you to think it’s a lie, so they throw in as much
detail as they can. So, it seems as though it’s the truth.
It must have happened if they remember everything! Right?
Most people don’t remember things in clear detail, at least not to that extent.
11. They sweat.
Remember what we said about what nervousness does to
your body? Ref #3. When somebody’s lying, they’ll suffer from a series of
physical symptoms like sweating, flush red, breathe faster and sometimes, they
shiver. If sweat patches start to appear under their arms while they’re talking,
could mean they’re lying to your face.
12. Something
just seems “off”.
Things don’t really add up, and even if you trust
this person, you’re having a hard time believing what they’re saying at the
moment. This is the biggest sign that they’re lying to your face.
13. Their
body language.
Crossed arms, twitching and turning away from you
when talking are all signs that someone is lying straight to your face. Body language
is a huge giveaway sign when people are trying to get away with something other
than the truth. So if you see anything abnormal about how they’re acting or
anything that causes you to think twice, they could be lying.
14. They
justify everything.
With reference to #10, this will go along with the
extra details in their tall. They won’t just tell you every little piece of
information, more than you wanted, they’ll also try and justify every little
part of the tale.
This is because they’re pre-empting the questions
they suspect you’ll have when hearing their dodgy story. So, you’ll be treated
to a long speech of justification on every part. If they seem like they need to
give you a reason for everything, they’re lying to your face.
15. They maneuver
the conversation where they want it.
It seems like they can’t change the subject fast
enough. So even if you’ve only just started talking, they’ll try and move on from
the topic as soon as possible after they’ve told the lie. This is because the
longer they talk about the lie, the more information they’ll have to provide.
And that’s more chances the truth will slip.
Read: 8 Discussion Topics To Make
Your Relationship Last
16. They
talk unusually too fast or too slow.
A change in speech pace shows something is not coming
off their tongue, (they are hiding something). They are thinking about whatever
they’re saying and that’s not a good one. If they’re talking too slowly, they
could just be buying time to think of details to add to their story.
And if they’re talking too fast, they could just be
trying to get the lie over and done with.
17. Their
story have different sides.
If you ask a liar a question and they give you an
answer, they’ll give you a clear story. But then, when you question them further,
their story changes a little bit. This is a sign they’re probably lying or
covering something up.
Some liars lack the ability to make stories
believable and might even forget the details they give you.
Note; don’t fall for their response of, “Goodness, I
forgot that part,” probably it never happened.
18. Their character
is defensive.
If you feel like they’re arguing or answering your
question a little harshly, it could be a sign that they’re lying to you. People
who are lying generally activate their “fight” response and can put on more of
a defensive attitude due to the “fight” response activated.
19. They repeat the same
thing over again.
People who are lying have a tendency to repeat
themselves often. If you’re finding that they are repeating things that you
easily understood the first time, could be a giveaway sign.
20. They repeat the
question before answering.
They’ll repeat the words of your question, before
they give you an answer. This is a tactic to buy some time to think of a lie to
tell.
It takes much more mental effort to tell a lie than
to tell the truth. So, repeating the question is an easy way for them to create
space to think of the most convincing lie to tell.
If your gut is telling you
something doesn’t seem right, then there’s a good chance someone is lying to
you. Our body is well hardwired to detect anomalies from other humans.
Why
is lying sometimes hard to detect?
It isn’t so easy to tell when someone is lying.
Maybe they know the typical signs of a liar and are putting the effort to hide
them.
You’ll likely meet individuals who do not show all
the usual signs of a liar. They’ll be cunning and good at manipulating your
emotions. Such people are also good at misleading and deceiving people and there
will be nothing to be ashamed of to lie about. This kind of liars are called compulsive
liars. Compulsive liars can’t help their habit of telling lies. It’s just a
part of them.
Read: 12 Early Signs of a
Manipulative Woman You Should Not Ignore
If you have someone in your life that is a compulsive
liar, you’ve likely been deceived by them over and over again.
Whatever their motive, compulsive liars are not
people you want in your inner circle. Ditch them as soon as possible, and find
yourself some true friends.
Maybe they do it because they need attention. Or
maybe they just enjoy the power; they shouldn’t be part of your inner circle.
Read: Signs And How To Fix A
Manipulative Relationship
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