25 Ways To Avoid Unfaithfulness In Your Relationship

No one get into a relationship with the intent of cheating on their partner. Something must have led to another, resulting to unfaithfulness.

Remaining faithful in your relationship – marriage is a personal decision you must make to enjoy what you have.

Like the saying, ‘you won’t appreciate what you have until you lose it’. Unfaithfulness has led to many marriage fails and more are on the brink of failing if action is not taken promptly.

Don’t believe the lie that you can’t remain with a partner for several years. That they loose taste with time, etc. why don’t you add more ingredients/spices to make them taste sumptuous again instead of cheating and exposing you two to dangers?

Note that you can avoid cheating on your partner. It’s within your power. If you really don’t want to cheat, you can.

Read How To Deal With A Careless Partner

Sometimes, it’s our carelessness that cause external affair in marriage. What does your spouse like? Do you consider them while dressing up? Do you give them their space when needed? Or you think because you’re married they shouldn’t do things alone. Sometimes, let them be themselves. What’s their love language? Do they like been touched regularly, hold hands while walking? Do you listen to them talk? Do you respect your partner or because you’re married you think that’s all? Nope. Marriage is a school different from the four walls you’ve been all your life. Funny enough, there’s no graduating here.

Read How To Build Trust In Your Relationship

Here are the 25 ways to avoid unfaithfulness in your relationship

1. Never ever make the opposite sex your best friend with whom you share intimate discussions. This is the fastest trust killer in any relationship. Every now and then, it’s this same person you hangout with and you don’t expect your partner to act funny? Even if this person has been your best friend for like ever, now you’re married. You need to draw the line.

2. Never ever be with someone of opposite sex at any time your spouse never knows you are there. Yeah: trust issues. I’m sure that’s what you’d say. Think of it this way, ‘why did you sneak to be with this person without letting your partner know?’

When it comes to marriage, you have to be extremely careful in dealing with the opposite sex. It could send a wrong signal even if you’re innocent. If you must be with them for a reason, inform your partner. It’s for your good. 

3. Be proud to use your little cuff outside.

Something is definitely off when you see a married person takes of their wedding ring because they want to attend to a particular customer, when going to the saloon, shopping etc. At this point, they probably have started cheating or venturing into this new lifestyle.

Meanwhile, some cheat while their ring is fisted to their finger. At this point, they don’t care; they want to satisfy their urge.

4. Never ever talk evil about your spouse to anybody, especially an opposite sex.

They’ll blow you off your feet before you knew it. It’s an easy way to know you’re not happy in your marriage and guess what they’ll do? They’ll take advantage of the situation by showing you false care/love, give you what you lack with your Spouse and eventually, destroy you and all you’ve worked for in your marriage.

Read How To Easily Spot A Misogynist

5. Avoid keeping secrets from your partner.

Is this possible? Yes, it is. Someone of the opposite sex sent you a nude picture or sensual/suggestive video, tell your partner about it so you two could find a solution. Sometimes there might not be a solution but its better you tell your partner than them finding out themselves. The negative side of this is that they’ll think there’s more to the pictures and you probably have replied with some nude pictures too.

Avoid keeping any form of secret from your partner. It’s unhealthy for a healthy relationship.

6. Avoid confiding in the opposite sex.

With reference to #1 and #2, avoid #6. Common, there should be somebody of your sex you can confide in. what happened to all your gender that it’s the opposite sex you want to tell your tale? Most often we dig the grave of your marriages with our own mouth/actions.

If you feel you need a private counselor or mentor, for the sake of your marriage, get one of same sex as you.

You just can’t tell till you’re down the drain.

7. Never ever collect unsolicited gifts and favor from opposite sex.

The last time I checked, it’s only Santa clause that give gift to everyone without asking for something in return. Every gift/favor comes with a message. What message is yours having?

For instance; he can’t buy you a car without expecting something in return. Before the car came, what messages/signal was he sending? After the car, what messages/signal did he send?

Your boss buys you lunch everyday, gives you her ride for the weekend and lie to her husband that the car is with the mechanic for maintenance. You’re there like ‘wow, my boss is nice to a fault. She gives me her car like I’m her son, buys me lunch, bla!!! And you think she’s dumb?

Probably you’re in a serious relationship, do you expect your partner to jump in the train?

Anyways, I’m sure you’ll pay your boss in kind soon.

8. Never ever think anyone is better than your spouse.

Some marriages you see, especially in the socials are all part of show biz. Sometimes we want to compare As’ marriage to ours because it seems like a heaven on earth marriage. But you truly don't know what their spouses are enduring at home. They come out all smiles and glittering, but they just had a fight before stepping out. Work on your marriage and it will be what you desire it to be soon.

Read How To Tell If You're Nurturing Positive Relationships

9. Channel your sexual desire towards your partner.

Stop pretending like you don’t have sexual desires. Those positions you fantasize, what you want to see your partner wear (G-string, bum shot, shorts etc ), how romantic you want them to be etc. discuss all of what you like sexually with your partner. That’s one of the important reasons they’re in your life.

You see what drives you crazy on your secretary, why don’t you buy it for your partner? The funniest part is that you don’t need to tell them to wear it, they know already.

10. Know that everybody is the same.

A man is a man and a woman is a woman. This means that whatever any woman or man has in his or her body, your spouse has it too and they are not different from each other. It is the same package. But you can enhance your package instead of running after bigger this or that. Wink!

11. Deal with sexual thoughts that are not directed towards your spouse.

This could happen sometimes but the earlier you realign your thoughts towards your spouse, the better for you. You can as well eradicate those thoughts completely so it doesn’t have a negative effect on your relationship. Sexual errors do not begin in the bedroom, but from the mind. Don’t think about someone you saw or said hi while with your partner. They could sometimes smell it.

12. Don't be alone ranger.

Peradventure, you’re having difficulties dealing with #11 above, look for someone in #6 to talk to. Someone way mature than you are or more experienced in marriage. Marriage counselor could be handy here or your mentor if you have any.

13. Have multiple sex with your partner before traveling.

This is necessary because you’re going away for awhile and your partner could have the urge for sex. But when you’ve had multiple and satisfying rounds with your significant other, that’ll put them to check till you return.

Note! You have to put your mind to it that you will not have sex until you come back. This decision could save you from a lot dangers out there and prevents you from having relationship anxiety.

14. Be mindful of friends

Who do you keep as friend? Choose your friends wisely. Walk in the company of good people. If you keep company with a thief, you might learn how to steal.

15. Discuss your sexual desire with your partner.

With reference to #11, you need to discuss your sexual desires with your partner. Let them know what you like and how you want it. With careful observation, you might not need to ask your partner what turns them on. You could experiment. Should they not know, please discuss it with them. It’s for your good.

Note! Your significant other has the best of everything you could ever imagine.

16. What’s the cost of unfaithfulness?

To some, it is not unfaithfulness but adventure. They want to taste all kinds of soup as said in Africa. They want to eat Egusi today and Ukazi tomorrow. Have you ever thought of the cost? I don’t only mean financial cost here.

What of the pain you’ll cause your spouse? Loss of integrity, the hurt you will cause your spouse, children and friends. Don't just look at the pleasure. Unfaithfulness could be really expensive.

Read The Effect Of Narcissist In A Relationship

17. Why are date nights so important?

Date nights are meant to rekindle love in relationships. It helps in providing alone time with your partner, away from noise or distraction from the kids.

One of the best ways to avoid unfaithfulness in your relationship is to have regular date nights to remind you of that special person and how your first date looked like. You can go to were you had your first date too.

A friend and a regular visitor to Juilal, Omonode Nyerhovwo gave more insight on avoiding unfaithfulness in your relationship.

Her thoughts:

“I think first of all, it’s helpful to know why people cheat. Why do cheaters cheat?

Some of the reasons people cheat includes the following:
A. Sexual adventure

B. Having a non accommodative partner

C. Desire to taste all sizes

D. Lack of love in the relationship

E. Bad company/friends

F. Nagging partner

G. Lack of sexual satisfaction
H. Cultural belief

I. And some for no reason

18. Deliberate commitment / discipline.

When you decide to go into a relationship with someone, also decide to stay true and trustworthy. Everything is decision. Have the deliberate willingness not to cheat. That’s true commitment.

Whether we’re able to figure it out or not, there’s a reason for loving the people we love.

Unfortunately, those reasons might not always be at the forefront of the relationship. That’s why there’re weaknesses. Times may not always favor the butterflies created by our significant other. There’re times those butterflies won’t exist. Those are the times that deliberate commitment will work. Then again, I think one cannot be committed without being disciplined.

19. Constant reminder of the things that made us choose the one we’re with.

You can’t be with someone for no reason. Something must have attracted you to them. What is that thing?

20. Constant reminder of their strengths.

The more you appreciate your partners’ strength, the more they love and respect you. One of the ways to avoid unfaithfulness in your relationship is constant reminder of your partners’ strength and let them know you appreciate their strength. In so doing, you can easily help them get stronger in their weaknesses.

But if you constantly dwell on their weaknesses, they’ll withdraw and  this might lead to unfaithfulness.

21. Avoiding events, situations, scenarios, and people that may make us cheat.

As mentioned earlier, the kind of people in your life play a big role in your relationship. Friends have a way of affecting our relationships positively or not.

Be mindful of questionable situations or scenarios that can leave some form of doubt in your partner. Just one questionable scenario can put an end to a relationship.

22. Constant sharing with our significant other (Thoughts, opinions and our fears).

What’s the point of being in a relationship if you can’t share your ideas, thoughts etc with our significant other? Your partner should be your best friend.

Talk to your partner about your feelings, thoughts etc. this will help keep your relationship in tune.

23. Sometimes, Compromises are needed in relationships.

24. Make your significant other feel loved.

Sometimes, love shown to us compels faithfulness. At this point, conscience is at play.

25. The fear of God.

A faithful man, who can find? That’s what the bible says. Even the bible knows faithfulness is difficult. So the fear of God can go a long way in keeping us faithful to our spouses”.

Be faithful to your spouse and you will be glad you did.

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