10 Thought-provoking Needs Men Have In Relationships

Do men have feelings too? Yes, they have feelings too. Thousands of articles out there is primarily focused on what women want and need in life and love. Then comes the question like “what about men? What do men want and need in life and love?”

what a man need in his relationships

The fact is that we shouldn’t focus
only on either group, and instead all strive to learn how we can be better in our relationships.

Read: 12 Ways To Bond With Your Partner For Better Relationship

Here are basic needs men have in relationships:

1. Men need a teammate in life and love.

There’re men out there who want to be in command of everything in their relationship like a military general and don’t value your opinion or input in anyway. But we aren’t talking about such men in this article because they don’t worth our time and energy.

As a lady, you shouldn’t give this type of guys your time and attention. They are a complete waste of time.

They’re not men my friends and I would want to be friends with.

Now, let’s talk about the stable and goodhearted men:

They need a teammate in life and love.

They need someone they can count on, confide in, and work together with in order to achieve the life you’ve both dreamed of. Just like you have in any successful sport team, teamwork plays a vital role.

You might start a business together.

You might have separate careers.

You might be a stay at home mom or dad while your partner brings home the bacon.

You shouldn’t bother about what people will think and say about you or your relationship, only that it works for you as a couple.

That’s what the best teams in the world do: They figure out each individual member’s strengths and then put them in positions to capitalize on their strengths.

2. Men need their self.

This is important for both of you. In that you both need your own self/identity, but you also both need each other to have your own self.

A lot of men are trying pretty hard to get a woman’s attention that they sacrifice who they really are in the process. They do whatever they think she wants, mold themselves to her and sacrifice time with friends or family or doing the things they love.

Spending time with your partner is as important as yourself discovery. But you should also have your own passions and interests that bring you joy outside of the relationship. Remember there was a you before the relationship.

You treat your relationship and your partner like your only source of existence and that’s not good enough. If you do so, you’ll put yourself under a lot of pressure.

The challenge for most men and women is developing this identity in the first place.

Most people make decade’s worth of decisions based on making a partner happy, making money, raising kids or something that is totally outside of themselves. It is a noble course for sure, but there need to be limits to everything worth doing and doing well. Be sure that each decision you make is in alignment with your values and beliefs.

They are challenging to implement right? Absolutely.

Are they necessary for your own happiness and fulfillment? 100% yes.

Read: 13 Astonishing Things That Happen When You Live Your Passion

3. Men need to feel desired.

Have you heard the phrase; “women don’t need men!”

That’s right, men are well aware that women don’t need them, and that’s why many are facing existential crises.

To be sincere, I believe it’s men’s fault. We’ve held on so long to the belief that we need to take on certain roles and responsibilities in relationships that it’s stunted our ability to grow and evolve with the times.

Though, the point here stands. Men still need to feel like they have a purpose. You know, a task or you can call it a mission. This is a way men naturally contribute to life and the relationships.

This is only becoming worsened by the lack of need itself. Men aren’t getting that “fix” of “being the man” in the relationship.

As a result, lots of men are questioning the value they bring to their relationships. They’re questioning themselves. They’re always left wondering where their place is and it takes a toll on them all.

“So, what are women supposed to do? Should they pretend like they need men sometimes just to make them feel better?”

Hmmmm, maybe yes.

On a more serious note, guys of this generation don’t need such. They like to open your door, pull out your chair and help themselves seat comfortably. They like to carry all of the groceries in a single trip. They like to contribute to your life and make your days easier. Is that too difficult to understand?

Asking for his help, even if you don’t need it is going to make him feel like he has a purpose and a place in your life. Common, we all know you can carry your own groceries, but then, just ask for his help. It is another great way to start a conversation with someone of interest.

Naturally, women often have natural instinct to be nurturing, caring and have biological urges to have children.

Men on the other hand, don’t understand that either, but they have similar biological urges in the ways of wanting to provide and protect. So, even if you don’t need his help, just ask.

Read: 14 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest In Relationship

4. Men need to be supported.

From study, married men statistically make more money per year than their single counterparts.

Obviously, lots of men do better when they’re supported by the one they truly love. It gives them a purpose and a strong reason to succeed.

It makes men feel like they have someone on their side cheering them on like you have in sports (fans), helping them along the journey.

Men need someone they can confide in when they fail and be celebrated when they win.

Men who are supported are happier, healthier and more determined. And, any man worth his salt will be equally as supportive and encouraging to you in return.

5. Men need to be loved for who they really are and not what they have.

It’s unfair, unjust and unreasonable to be loved for what you have and not who you are.

While the only true place we can find a full sense of self-worth is within us, we still need to know that the person we love accepts and embraces us for who we really are.

Men compare themselves to others in similar ways as women do. Though, we’re usually looking at who’s got bigger muscles, a better beard, the fastest car, a stronger jawline or more money in the bank. There is always someone to compare yourself with and it can lead to serious depression.

Does that make it any less real or difficult to deal with? Fortunately not.

If a man knows that you truly love him, you let him know he’s the best guy in the whole world, that he was brought to this world just for you, that he’s the most handsome man on earth, that he’s the most caring guy ever, that he’s kindhearted, genuine and deserving of your true love, those are the realizations that will help him feel secure and want to do better.

When he feels secure in himself, that’s when he can show up for you at his very best. It’s how he can be the best partner, father, lover, and friend you’ve always wanted.

He’ll know that if he has you by his side, there’s nothing that he can’t do and be successful at it.

6. Men need intimacy.

Do men just want sex? Well, no.

You’re an adult. You already know that men have sexual needs too.

Don’t you know you have sexual needs?

But I did not say “sex,” I said “intimacy.” I mean real intimacy.

Yes, sex is as a result of intimacy, but you know too well that you can have sex without any form of intimacy. Do I need to go into details on that? I don’t think so. Well, you know what happens if you do enough of that? Either you get bored or you become attached to the person you’re sleeping with minus intimacy, because the need for intimacy strongly remains where it is.

Intimacy goes far beyond just having sex. It’s about forming a mental and emotional connection or bond with another person that’s rooted in love with you.

It’s a bond that makes you feel safe being your true self with this person. It makes you feel secure in yourself and in your body when you’re with them.

It’s what makes you hold hands while taking a walk in the park. Cuddling while watching your favorite Tv show. Hugging each other whenever you have the opportunity to be together, when you come home from work, etc.

That’s what real intimacy is all about and men need it just as women do.

Read: 20 Best Ways To Keep Him Totally Hooked In

7. Men need constancy.

Stability is usually what we hear women use when discussing what they want in relationships. But, that doesn’t make it any less important for men. Men also need stability.

I understand the habituation that men should be the pursuers when it comes to dating and relationships.

While, yes, they should always be putting in effort for you (as you should for them), they also need to know that their efforts are being recognized and appreciated, otherwise they might feel as though they could lose you at any time.

That is not a feeling of stability and security within a relationship, and nobody can thrive under those circumstances.

Imagine going to work every single day wondering if you’re going to get fired. You’d never be able to perform at your best because of the psychological feelings you have towards your work.

So, yes, of course I believe that men need to earn and then maintain your love and affection, but I also believe that he needs to know when it’s actually working. So, don’t fake it.

8. Men need some humor too.

So many people just take life too seriously. Yes I know work is serious, bills are on the waiting list, obligations, etc. but the last thing we need is more seriousness at the end of the day. You take even your relationship so serious that you don’t have a moment of joy and laughter to share with your partner.

Yes, of course, much of life requires seriousness, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun and laughter along the way.

If you’re not with someone you can enjoy lifes’ moments with, someone you can have fun with, then what’s the point of being in a relationship?

Women know how attractive a healthy sense of humor is in a man, so it should be no surprise that it’s equally as attractive in a woman.

9. Men need to give themselves to you.

Not gifts this time around as we like giving those things to the woman we love already. But I’m talking about giving himself to you. And giving himself includes his time, energy, compliments, flattery, romance and affection.

A man needs to make you feel good, for no other reason than because he loves you. Not for the sake of a return, not because you’re asking for it, not just to feed his own ego.

A man who truly loves and cares for you will feel a deep-rooted need to give and not to take.

It all goes back to needing a sense of meaning and purpose. If he knows he is the only person giving these things to you, it’s going to make him feel an immense sense of pride in who he is, and what he’s bringing to your life. So, let him give himself too.

10. Men need to feel appreciated.

With reference to #9, hey, you just said that men shouldn’t do things for the sake of a return!

That’s right. They shouldn’t. And nobody should. But, it doesn’t mean that people enjoy feeling taken for granted because that is what it is.

Read: Being Taken For Granted Is Rough Enough

He needs to know that you appreciate the things he strives to do for you every day, and not feel that you’re just sitting back and expecting them to happen.

Gratitude is the fuel that fills the tank of kindness.

In other words, if he feels like you appreciate what he does for you, he’s going to do more.

No matter how kindhearted and selfless someone is, though, they will eventually begin to feel taken for granted if there is no appreciation for their actions. This is a general feeling and it is not peculiar to men.

None of us want to feel like we’re giving ourselves to someone that barely notices our efforts. If that feeling arises for too long, it will eventually create a distance between you that’s too large to close up again.

Read: 32 Signs You’re Being Taken For Granted

Picture: Pixabay

10 Thought-provoking Needs Men Have In Relationships 10 Thought-provoking Needs Men Have In Relationships Reviewed by Civian on 18:13 Rating: 5

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