Do men have feelings too? Yes, they have feelings too. Thousands of articles out there is primarily focused on what women want and need in life and love. Then comes the question like “what about men? What do men want and need in life and love?”
Read: 12 Ways To Bond With Your
Partner For Better Relationship
Here are basic needs men have in relationships:
1. Men need
a teammate in life and love.
There’re men out there who want to be in command of
everything in their relationship like a military general and don’t value your
opinion or input in anyway. But we aren’t talking about such men in this
article because they don’t worth our time and energy.
As a lady, you shouldn’t give this type of guys your
time and attention. They are a complete waste of time.
They’re not men my friends and I would want to be
friends with.
Now, let’s talk about the stable and goodhearted men:
They need a teammate in life and love.
They need someone they can count on, confide in, and
work together with in order to achieve the life you’ve both dreamed of. Just like
you have in any successful sport team, teamwork plays a vital role.
You might start a business together.
You might have separate careers.
You might be a stay at home mom or dad while your
partner brings home the bacon.
You shouldn’t bother about what people will think
and say about you or your relationship, only that it works for you as a couple.
That’s what the best teams in the world do: They
figure out each individual member’s strengths and then put them in positions to
capitalize on their strengths.
2. Men need
their self.
This is important for both of you. In that you both need your own self/identity, but you also both need each other to have your own self.
A lot of men are trying pretty hard to get a woman’s
attention that they sacrifice who they really are in the process. They do whatever
they think she wants, mold themselves to her and sacrifice time with friends or
family or doing the things they love.
Spending time with your partner is as important as
yourself discovery. But you should also have your own passions and interests
that bring you joy outside of
the relationship. Remember there was a you before the relationship.
You treat your relationship and your partner like
your only source of existence and that’s not good enough. If you do so, you’ll
put yourself under a lot of
pressure.
The challenge for most men and women is developing this identity in the first place.
Most people make decade’s worth of decisions based
on making a partner happy, making money, raising kids or something that is
totally outside of themselves. It is a noble course for sure, but there need to
be limits to everything worth doing and doing well. Be sure that each decision
you make is in alignment with your values and beliefs.
They are challenging to implement right? Absolutely.
Are they necessary for your own happiness and
fulfillment? 100% yes.
Read: 13 Astonishing Things That
Happen When You Live Your Passion
3. Men need
to feel desired.
Have
you heard the phrase; “women don’t need men!”
That’s right, men are well aware that women don’t need them, and that’s why many are facing existential
crises.
To be sincere, I believe it’s men’s fault. We’ve
held on so long to the belief that we need to take on certain roles and
responsibilities in relationships that it’s stunted our ability to grow and
evolve with the times.
Though, the point here stands. Men still need to
feel like they have a purpose. You know, a task or you can call it a mission. This
is a way men naturally contribute to life and the relationships.
This is only becoming worsened by the lack of need
itself. Men aren’t getting that “fix” of “being the man” in the relationship.
As a result, lots of men are questioning the value
they bring to their relationships. They’re questioning themselves. They’re always left
wondering where their place is and it takes a toll on them all.
“So,
what are women supposed to do? Should they pretend like they need men sometimes
just to make them feel better?”
Hmmmm, maybe yes.
On a more serious note, guys of this generation don’t
need such. They like to open your door, pull out your chair and help themselves
seat comfortably. They like to carry all of the groceries in a single trip.
They like to contribute to your life and make your days easier. Is that too
difficult to understand?
Asking for his help, even if you don’t need it is
going to make him feel like he has a purpose and a place in your life. Common,
we all know you can carry your own groceries, but then, just ask for his help. It
is another great way to start a conversation with someone of interest.
Naturally, women often have natural instinct to be
nurturing, caring and have biological urges to have children.
Men on the other hand, don’t understand that either,
but they have similar biological urges in the ways of wanting to provide and
protect. So, even if you don’t need his
help, just ask.
Read: 14 Reasons Why Men Lose
Interest In Relationship
4. Men need
to be supported.
From study, married men statistically make
more money per year than their single counterparts.
Obviously, lots of men do better when they’re
supported by the one they truly love. It gives them a purpose and a strong reason to
succeed.
It makes men feel like they have someone on their
side cheering them on like you have in sports (fans), helping them along the
journey.
Men need someone they can confide in when they fail
and be celebrated when they win.
Men who are supported are happier, healthier and
more determined. And, any man worth his salt will be equally as supportive and
encouraging to you in return.
5. Men need
to be loved for who they really are and not what they have.
It’s unfair, unjust and unreasonable to be loved for
what you have and not who you are.
While the only true place we can find a full sense
of self-worth is within us, we still need to know that the person we love
accepts and embraces us for who we really are.
Men compare themselves to others in similar ways as
women do. Though, we’re usually looking at who’s got bigger muscles, a better
beard, the fastest car, a stronger jawline or more money in the bank. There is
always someone to compare yourself with and it can lead to serious depression.
Does that make it any less real or difficult to deal
with? Fortunately not.
If a man knows that you truly love him, you let him know he’s the best guy in the
whole world, that he was brought to this world just for you, that he’s the most
handsome man on earth, that he’s the most caring guy ever, that he’s
kindhearted, genuine and deserving of your true love, those are the realizations that will help him
feel secure and want to do better.
When he feels secure in himself, that’s when he can
show up for you at
his very best. It’s how he can be the best partner, father, lover, and friend
you’ve always wanted.
He’ll know that if he has you by his side, there’s
nothing that he can’t do and be successful at it.
6. Men need
intimacy.
Do men just want sex? Well, no.
You’re an adult. You already know that men have
sexual needs too.
Don’t you know you have sexual needs?
But I did not say “sex,” I said “intimacy.” I mean
real intimacy.
Yes, sex is as a result of intimacy, but you know
too well that you can have sex without any
form of intimacy. Do I need to go into details on that? I don’t think so. Well,
you know what happens if you do enough of that? Either you get bored or you
become attached to the person you’re sleeping with minus intimacy, because the
need for intimacy strongly remains where it is.
Intimacy goes far beyond just having sex. It’s about
forming a mental and emotional connection or bond with another person that’s
rooted in love with you.
It’s a bond that makes you feel safe being your true
self with this person. It makes you feel secure in yourself and in your body when
you’re with them.
It’s what makes you hold hands while taking a walk
in the park. Cuddling while watching your favorite Tv show. Hugging each other
whenever you have the opportunity to be together, when you come home from work,
etc.
That’s what real intimacy is all about and men need it just as women
do.
Read: 20 Best Ways To Keep Him Totally
Hooked In
7. Men need constancy.
Stability is usually what we hear women use when
discussing what they want in relationships. But, that doesn’t make it any less
important for men. Men also need stability.
I understand the habituation that men should be the
pursuers when it comes to dating and relationships.
While, yes, they should always be putting in effort
for you (as you should for them), they also need to know that their efforts are
being recognized and appreciated, otherwise they might feel as though they
could lose you at any time.
That is not a feeling of stability and security
within a relationship, and nobody can thrive under those circumstances.
Imagine going to work every single day wondering if
you’re going to get fired. You’d never be able to perform at your best because of
the psychological feelings you have towards your work.
So, yes, of course I believe that men need to earn and then maintain
your love and affection, but I also believe that he needs to know when it’s
actually working. So, don’t fake it.
8. Men need
some humor too.
So many people just take life too seriously. Yes I know
work is serious, bills are on the waiting list, obligations, etc. but the last
thing we need is more seriousness
at the end of the day. You take even your relationship so serious that you don’t
have a moment of joy and laughter to share with your partner.
Yes, of course, much of life requires seriousness, but that doesn’t
mean we can’t have some fun and laughter along the way.
If you’re not with someone you can enjoy lifes’
moments with, someone you can have
fun with, then what’s the point of being in a relationship?
Women know how attractive a healthy sense of humor
is in a man, so it should be no surprise that it’s equally as attractive in a
woman.
9. Men need
to give themselves to you.
Not gifts this time around as we like giving those
things to the woman we love already. But I’m talking about giving himself to you. And giving
himself includes his time, energy, compliments, flattery, romance and
affection.
A man needs to make you feel good, for no other
reason than because he loves you. Not for the sake of a return, not because
you’re asking for it, not just to feed his own ego.
A man who truly loves and cares for you will feel a
deep-rooted need to give and not
to take.
It all goes back to needing a sense of meaning and
purpose. If he knows he is the only person giving these things to you, it’s
going to make him feel an immense sense of pride in who he is, and what he’s
bringing to your life. So, let him give himself too.
10. Men need
to feel appreciated.
With reference to #9, hey, you just said that men
shouldn’t do things for the sake of a return!
That’s right. They shouldn’t. And nobody should.
But, it doesn’t mean that people enjoy feeling taken for granted because that
is what it is.
Read: Being Taken For Granted Is
Rough Enough
He needs to know that you appreciate the things he
strives to do for you every day, and not feel that you’re just sitting back and
expecting them to happen.
Gratitude
is the fuel that fills the tank of kindness.
In other words, if he feels like you appreciate what
he does for you, he’s going to do more.
No matter how kindhearted and selfless someone is,
though, they will eventually begin to feel taken for granted if there is no
appreciation for their actions. This is a general feeling and it is not peculiar
to men.
None of us want to feel like we’re giving ourselves
to someone that barely notices our efforts. If that feeling arises for too
long, it will eventually create a distance between you that’s too large to
close up again.
Read: 32 Signs You’re Being Taken
For Granted
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