Normally, two people are attracted to each other; begin to discover more about one another as they decide to proceed regarding their relationship and it grow daily. This does not mean there won’t be challenges. Yet everything about a new relationship is always thrilling.
Just like a seed, relationship has stages. Time to plant and
nourish it unto maturity and each of this phase has its’ own challenge and
different work to be done. Most of the work in a relationship is at the
maturity stage when things can change dramatically. At this stage, focus switches
to making the relationship work.
Though there’re still new and exciting things that happen, it’s
just not as common as you may expect. Because your significant other is all
charming now does not mean they’ll remain charming forever. You might not see
those lovely smiles often as you see them now. Your significant other might not
be all that kind at this stage.
It’s easy to become complacent with another person and take them
for granted when they’re part of our daily routine.
Building and maintaining a long-term relationship can require
some pretty hard work, but it’s also amazingly rewarding. Seeing the other
person grow, starting a family together is a wonderful.
Here
are the 8 rules to make a relationship last and remain exciting:
1. Always leave communication
lines open.
The place of open communication in a relationship cannot be over
emphasized as it is one of the bed rocks of any successful relationship.
Obviously, communication is involved in our daily life, big or
small, old or young, buying or selling, sharing
emotions with our partners, taking the garbage out, you name It. The fact is
that effective communication will determine how well you enjoy your day. So it
is in relationships.
Communication is vital in understanding one another. You may
think that you already know your partner, but do you know about their day? Do
you know if they’re weighed down, feeling sick, unappreciated at work, or something
else they may be thinking or feeling? Communication is far from saying ‘hello,
how are you’. Open communication is the only way to maintain balance while
further progressing in a relationship. Yes, it takes time and effort to
understand a person but if you want an exciting relationship, it’s a sacrifice
worth paying.
Open/good communication is not difficult to achieve in any
relationship. All it takes is some dedication/decision to have and to enjoy
one. Sometimes it all happen on its’ own if both partners already know what
they want out of the relationship. You will realize you didn’t talk about
having an open communication, but its’ just there and you’re both enjoying your
relationship – watch it so you don’t take it for granted.
For most guys, when they feel you’re taking their openness for
granted, they tend to withdraw and start hiding stuffs from you.
Good communication is about being comfortable enough to tell
your partner everything – the good, the bad and the ugly. As expected, we don’t
want to hurt each other’s feelings by being abrupt and straightforward
sometimes. But, that’s part of open communication: being honest whether you do
or don’t feel like it – wisdom.
2. Fashion a common
dream for your life/have a shared vision.
It’s much easier to lose sight of the more important and
long-term reasons for being together in a relationship in the midst of paying
bills, cleaning the house, working long hours, taking care of the kids and
taking care of other responsibilities.
It is essential to develop a mindfulness of ‘us’ as you progress
in your relationship. With this, you’ll be able to have a shared vision/goal. For
instance: deciding and saying things like ‘We want to have a baby’, ‘we want to
buy a house’, ‘ we want to take a vacation to the Netherlands’, etc and working
it out is a shared vision.
There’s no particular time to talk about shared vision in your
relationship but it’s best talked about when you’re certain of the
relationship. One of the most favorable time to do this is at the beginning of
a marriage and inside the marriage cause your needs might change with the
presence of kids.
Having shared visions sets a good foundation upon which to build
your life together. Another benefit of early and shared planning is that you
are much more likely to make that dream a reality without conflicts trying to
achieve this vision.
3. Expect changes in your
partner physically.
With reference to #2, research has shown that your partner will
change in some way every 7-8 years. The changes may be drastic but you need to
expect to see some sort of difference in the person’s mind or body so it
doesn’t come as a surprise. Many partners have challenges after sudden changes
in their partners physic. This is because they thought their partner will
remain perfectly shaped.
Change is inevitable in life and personal change is a natural
process in relationships. Unfortunately, we often don’t accommodate for such
changes in our relationships.
It is important to evaluate where you’re and let your partner
know where you’d like to be within speculated time. If you don’t communicate
this change, trouble awaits you.
Know what you’re thinking and feeling at a time and let your
partner know by communicating with them and try to be as honest as possible all
the time.
4. Say you’re sorry when you’re
wrong and mean it.
I always say there are no perfect human but our willingness to
admit our wrongs is what sets us apart. You must know that part of making a
relationship last is admitting your mistakes. If you committed a mistake, simply
apologize to your partner.
There’s no place for stubbornness and insisting that you were
right when were obviously wrong.
Sincerity and eye contact are important elements to any apology
except in cases when you’re apart from each other. Don’t let pride destroy your
relationship. Pride/ego is a silent relationship killer. They won’t allow you
apologize to your partner even when you’re convinced you were at fault. Apologies only make sense when it is done with
meaning.
On one hand is to apologies and on the other is to accept it. In
a relationship, you must learn how to accept each other’s apology. So if your significant
other is sincerely sorry, accept their apologies with honesty and move on.
5. Maintain physical
connection/ intimacy as much as possible.
Maintaining physical connection is necessary for any long-term
relationship. Physical intimacy is more than just being physically present
during discussions. Without physical connection in some way, emotional
connection is almost impossible. Physical connection/ intimacy are important in
maintaining the health of your emotional connection, as well.
Physical connection/ intimacy are important in reigniting the
passion and bringing you back together if for any reason you drift apart.
As characterized with most relationships, it is easy to spark
physical connection/intimacy in the beginning of the relationship but it’s often
more difficult along the line with emergence of kids, with work, finances,
home, etc.
One of the best ways to keep the passion flowing between you and
your partner is by prioritizing intimacy with them. Though this might sound
easy, it takes effort to maintain this level in any relationship. If you can
achieve this level of intimacy with your partner, the stresses that come with
work and family will only be a minor roadblock as you continue to re-discover
your physical attraction for one another because it’s a never ending process.
6. Lay emphasis on the
positive/appreciate your partner.
With reference to #1, communication is very important as it is
important to demonstrate your appreciation toward your partner. You’ll observe
that it’s relatively easy to express positive/appreciations at the early stage
of a relationship when compared to a 10 or more years marriage. Yes’ this can
continue but with our decision to always see the positive of our significant
other no matter what
come may.
It’s also much easier to show appreciation when things are going
well. It’s still very important to tell the other person the things that you
love about them even when the road is rough.
The reality of every relationship is that they do get
stressful and busy over time and this is the exact reason you need to echo your
appreciation for your partner over and over again.
Is she beautiful to you? Tell her such because ladies are never
tired of hearing such compliments coming from the love of their life. Does she
go all out to keep the home in one piece, give you peace of mind, etc? Let her
know you appreciate her. Remember not every woman is a home keeper.
Does your man show a little kindness, work very hard to provide
for the family, etc, tell him how much it’s appreciated. You might not notice
how happy he is, but deep down he appreciates your compliment and is eager to
do more. But the reverse is the case if you don’t appreciate him.
7. Don’t quit.
With reference to #8, resilience is necessary to making a
relationship last. You may incorporate all the rules stated here, but if you
are not unwavering in your relationship, it risks failure in near future. You have
to decide to remain committed to each other and do what you can to stick to
your commitments at difficult times because difficult times will come.
8. Learn to compromise
because they’re inevitable.
Put two adults in a room and give them a task. You’ll realize
they’ll have different viewpoints about the task except they compromise at some
point. This is most evident when making any kind of decision whether big or
small in relationship.
Sometimes, the two people agree and sometimes not. When there is
a disagreement, don’t allow it to become a full-fledged argument. Instead
discuss it calmly and rationally. If it’s possible, agree to come back to it
later. It’s like giving tension some break to subside.
You have to be thoughtful and empathetic with the other person’s
view. Don’t hear their response and immediately become defensive, insisting
that you should have the final say. You can’t always have the final say in a
relationship. If you are unsure about why your partner thinks the way that they
do, just ask questions for clarity.
For smaller decisions, simply take turns allowing each other to
decide and stick to what they’ve decided. If you have an idea, let it out in
form of a suggestions and were necessary, explain why you have a different opinion.
Note that we all deserve a long-term relationship because its’
beautiful, but it isn’t easy to maintain. It’s not supposed to be easy actually
because if it’s easy, you won’t appreciate the one you have.
No relationship is perfect. It doesn’t matter how great a
relationship appears from the outside, there are always going to be trials.
Important Rules To Make A Relationship Last Long
Reviewed by Civian
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Reviewed by Civian
on
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