How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship

What is emotional intimacy?
Emotional intimacy according to Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist in Colorado; it’s a sense of closeness developed with another person over time”. “Usually it involves a feeling of safety and having your inner thoughts and feelings known and accepted at all time.

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This implies if you're emotionally intimate with someone, you're most certainly sharing your feelings, secrets, and desires with them. They're the person you can go to whenever you feel like talking about how you feel any time of the day. Note that it doesn't have to be verbal and that’s the reason it’s called emotional intimacy.

Couples need to have this vital element right from the beginning of their relationship. The reason for this is that connection built through an emotionally secured bond is almost unbreakable.

Note that the strongest relationships are built not only on love, trust and respect but also on strong emotional intimacy.


So many relationships fail because they did not recognize the importance of building a strong emotional intimacy in their relationship while only focusing on the physical aspect of it. Some know the importance of emotional intimacy but don’t know how to go about it.

This article will help you build emotional intimacy in your relationship just with the one you love.

1. Spend the good and the bad times together.
Let’s be honest with ourselves, there’re times – terrible days just like the good times. What matters the most is how well we manage the bad times.

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Couples who are emotionally-intimately involved, know the importance of facing the bad times together for more strength etc instead of leaving one another thereby becoming defenseless.

The fact is that only such couples understand that only those who face the storm together can craft that rare and beautiful relationship built on a strong emotional bond. These types of couples are also the ones who get to celebrate the good days with true happiness and satisfaction holding hands.

2. Master the art of humor and make your partner laugh.
Building emotional intimacy is very easy. You don’t need to do all listed here but just a hand full of them and one of such easy ways is to have a good sense of humor.

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What comes to your mind when you see couples laughing together? That’s emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is present among couples who are good at making each other laugh. Note that you don’t have to be a comedian to make someone laugh. You could make jest of yourself if you have good self-esteem. Just look for a way to make your partner laugh.

Humor plays a huge factor for a long-lasting relationship and many people can agree that they don’t get tired of being with anyone who can make them laugh even when they don’t feel like laughing.

Good sense of humor can make a lot of difference in helping couples build a stronger emotional bond in a more fun and lighter way.

3. Bond over ordinary day-to-day things and have fun during such activities.
With reference to #2, another easy way to build bond with your partner is to be involve with them at any given opportunity. Emotional intimacy may be a deep and solemn to some people, but it doesn’t mean they can’t be built through the most ordinary and simplest ways.

Do you know spending time together doing day-to-day activities while having fun is one of the fastest and surest ways to make your significant other feel emotionally bonded with you? Go ahead and give it a try today.

So cook together, visit your local museum, bond over a romantic movie, or just sit there and relax. It’s important that you feel comfortable doing these things together if you want your love to last.

4. Talk about the past but keep your mind open.
The past could be scary and it’s sure a sensitive topic especially for partners just starting out. Most times it can even be very painful to narrate your experience but it’s an important step in building a strong emotional intimacy with your present partner. Note that your partner will understand you better when you talk about your past.

Why is #4 so important? This is because no matter how much you try, in some ways, your past experiences and the people you were with can shape your present beliefs and values – and helping your partner understand is vital.

5. Recognize the things that deeply hurt them.
In relation to #6 below, you have to recognize their own experiences like yours and learn the things that hurt them. At this point, it’s worthwhile to note that to build an emotionally intimate strong relationship, you must be conscious of the instances and actions including words that can deeply hurt your significant other.

The fact is that emotionally intimate couples are sensitive enough to know the right words to say, when to and when not to say them. It becomes natural to feel what their partner feels. This type of connection is crucial for both growth and healing in every relationship.

6. Identify those things that make them come alive.
With reference #5, besides understanding those things that hurt them, you should also know those things (places, people, and activities) that make them feel/come alive. In so doing, you’ll get to have a glimpse of who they really are when they are at their best.

Note that such knowledge can guide you on how to make them feel happy in the relationship especially when in the bad times.

7. Know the people in your partners’ life that make them happy.
It’s a common mistake among partners to want to keep their newly found love all to themselves forgetting they had friends who have been there for them through thick and thin.

There’s a high chance these individual played important role in their lives and keeping your partner totally away from them could detrimental.

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Try as much as possible to accept those who were there for them way before you came into the picture. Remember they were in her life first helping your partner grow and enjoy life even before you came on-board. So if you want to build an emotionally intimate relationship, let them know that you’re not the jealous and insecure type. Rather, you should appreciate all they've helped your partner achieve all through the years.

Emotional intimacy starts when you feel secure about your own place in their life. Emotional intimacy only comes when you are not bothered by the negativity like jealousy and insecurity.

8. No barrier – No impediment - Pull down your walls and let them in.
Intimacy starts when partners trust each other despite their worries, weaknesses, and above all - vulnerability. That is why it is essential to pull down your walls and let your partner in. Trust them to keep you safe and to protect you from life and love dangers.


Another fact to note about emotional intimacy is that it can only exist if you have trust for your partner and let them see the real you.

9. Be sincere in everything you say and do.
Emotional intimacy can only be present in couples who practice sincerity and honesty in everything they do. Be genuine when expressing love and care towards your partner. Moreover this does not take lots of effort if you truly love them.

10. Meaningful conversations creates atmosphere for intimacy.
Meaningful conversations can help you create the right atmosphere for real intimacy and also great memories as a couple.


This is because talking to someone does not only reveal who they really are but it helps you get a glimpse of the things that they want to try to hide from other people.

Building emotional intimacy means opening yourself to someone else who may or may not share the same perspectives and interests as you. It’s the only way to create a genuinely strong bond and build a lasting emotional connection that will help your relationship grow.

Picture: Pexels.

How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 13:46 Rating: 5

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