Characteristics of Unhealthy Boundaries and their Effects

Every type of relationship has a price tag and the price tag on each relationship will determine how well you value and want to protect the relationship.Boundaries are like fences, they act as a yellow line.

It is very important to have boundaries in relationships. Boundaries in relationships cannot be over emphasized. There are basically two types of boundaries and they are Healthy Boundaries and Unhealthy Boundaries.

Read 9 Important Set up Boundaries for Healthy Relationship

Sometimes in a bid to develop or build a healthy boundary, we unconsciously develop unhealthy boundaries which will either sooner or later have adverse effect on our relationship.

Maturity in mind and relationship boundaries is necessary for a lasting healthy relationship.

The purpose of fencing your abode is to demarcate and protect your abode from intruders so also is relationship boundaries. They are set to protect your relationship. They are like Dos and Don’ts for you to enjoy a lasting healthy relationship with your partner.

Read Don'ts for Healthy Relationship

Just like trust that must be earned for a healthy relationship to be achieved, we must learn to build boundaries.

You may not recognize these unhealthy boundaries from afar, but take a closer look to see if any is already functional in your relationship and do something about it.

Here are some Characteristics of Unhealthy Boundaries and their Effects

1- Focused on the Negative or Bad Qualities of Your Partner

There are no perfect human. We are all working towards perfection every day. If you are looking for a perfect partner, ask yourself this simple question; Am I Perfect? If your response is yes 100% perfect, then I wish you well in your quest for a 100% perfect partner. You are in a relationship to complement or help with the flaws of your partner. if you decide to remain focused on the bad side of your partner, soon your partner will become defensive and totally unwilling to change which will make your relationship a challenge.

2- Unforgiving

This has become a serious issue in most relationships. Partners that are unforgiving keep hurting themselves and their partner unconsciously. Living with an unforgiving person is like living with your known enemy. unforgiving and its effect is enormous in relationship. Not letting go will lead to relationship anxiety.

3- Manipulative

You could get away with things by been manipulative but it will not take you far in your relationship. Been manipulative means you cannot be trusted. Been manipulative is an unhealthy boundary.

Nobody like been manipulated especially by your partner. it is very annoying.

4- Jealousy

Been jealous with the intent of seeking attention for intimacy from your partner is not a too good idea. You don’t need to use jealousy to communicate with your partner that you need his or her attention. Though jealousy is needed in relationships a times, only when you know how to channel it positively. Else it points to insecurity in the relationship.

5- Feeling Incomplete in the Absence of Your Partner

This is a good feeling when you are truly in love. It only becomes bad when you use it to keep your partner all to yourself; preventing them from having other healthy relationships (friends and neighbors). You always want them by your side. Soon he or she will be tired of that attitude and will want to prove a point.

6- Using Alcohol or Drugs to Create Intimacy

Many people are fond of using alcohol or drugs to get intimate. This is bad for your relationship as both have aftermath effects. The influence of alcohol and drugs are for a while. If you have the right atmosphere, initiating intimacy will not be a problem. Some other effect includes hangovers and headache.

7- Togetherness

This could either bend to the positive side (too much) or to the negative side (too little). When you spend too much togetherness, it becomes an issue sometimes. So also is too little togetherness. We must ensure to balance our togetherness. It is good to give your partner some space sometimes and I do not mean living separately. I mean allowing your partner go hang out with their friends from time to time.

8- When your Happiness is Totally Dependent on Your Partner

This is very unhealthy and should be looked into as fast as possible. You should be happy even when your partner is not available. You could communicate via phone or other means and if not, you should still be happy. Happiness reflects the state of your mind. There should be other positive things you can do to remain happy. Like reading choice books, movies, listening to music and you can as well take yourself to a treat.

Boundaries are very important in relationships but healthy boundaries are best for healthy relationship.

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