13 Steps To Find Closure And Move On After Being Dumped

The feeling one experience after being dumped could really be damaging and figuring out how to get over being dumped is never an easy thing. Getting over such feelings could take several weeks, months or even years to fully recover from all the pain and heartbreak that comes with it.

It’s an understatement to say breakup is painful. Apart from the crushing pain that comes with breakups, there’s the confusion from all the unanswered questions in your head about how and why it ended that way.

There’s this sense of hopelessness you feel because this relationship once made you happy. It probably was the only thing that made you feel alive. The future you once looked forward to having with your perfect partner is no longer there.

Note that breakups are like any other setback in life, it’s a temporary phase. But the sooner you realize that the only way to cope with the pain of breakup is by moving on and getting over the breakup. The faster you move on with your life, the better.

Here are some tips to help you get over being dumped:

Read: Important Rules To Make A Relationship Last Long

1. Release those bottled up feelings.

Those going through breakups do whatever they can to stay sane. Do whatever heartbroken people do like cutting your hair to have a new look, cry yourself to sleep, cry and scream at the top of your voice, pen down your story “about the break-up”, eat ice cream, treat yourself nicely, go to the beach, go on a road trip with friends, open up to your best friend and let those pain flow out.

Healing process of any heartbreak starts with letting go of those unpleasant emotions bottled up.

2. Damage control - Terminate communication with your ex until emotionally and mentally clear-headed.

Damage control is very important in the healing process of heartbreak. One of the ways of effective damage control especially if the break-up is still recent is to stay away from the source of your pain.

Are there still feelings that are lingering? You won’t be able to make sound decisions if you meet or communicate with your ex while hoping for a new relationship. So cut all form of communication with them. Delete their number if you must and remove or unfriend them from social media for the time being or permanently if you must.

3. NO sex with your ex.

With reference to #2, sex with the ex is a mistake especially after being dumped like dumped-dumped. Such a vulnerable state confuses your feelings with reality when it is clear they don’t want you back. It makes you jump into impulsive decisions that you may regret later on. So no matter how strong the temptation is, firmly follow tip two.

4. Let go of your bitterness.

If you really want to get over being dumped by your partner, you have to start by accepting that the relationship had some good memories also.

Normally, after rejection, people are naturally prone to hating and resenting who rejected them.

Note that carrying such emotional baggage is unhealthy and prevents you from fully moving on with your life.

Heartbreaks makes people focus more on the painful moments forgetting that the happy moments outweigh them. Your ex is also human with their own reasons for walking out of the relationship. You don’t need to forgive or be friends with your ex right away.

The healthy thing to do is to accept that they fell out of love with you and that you still have the ability to a fresh start.

5. Revisit old plans and ambitions.

Most a times, being in a relationship forces us to set most or some of our personal plans and ambitions aside to give attention to our partner and build the relationship.

But now you’re single, while not revisit and set those old plans into motion again. Being productive and active is one of the best way to distract yourself from the breakup and its pains and it helps you get things done in your life in your own way.

6. Discover new hobbies and passions.

Starting new hobbies after being dumped gives you a fresh viewpoint and allows you to meet new people. It gives you the opportunity to break off from your old routine and experience something fresh.

7. Keep in mind that it’s fine being single.

Getting dumped always leaves the question about whether you’ll give another relationship a chance. Note that happiness is not dependent on your partner. Even when in a relationship, don’t allow your happiness to come from only your partner.

Happiness and fulfillment aren’t only in a relationship. Being single has its’ own benefit too.

Read: How To Tell If You Are Nurturing Positive Relationships

8. Take your time on moving on.

There’s no deadline attached to moving on. The time it takes to move on varies from person to person. It may take you weeks, months, or years while it may take another a week. So don’t be in a rush to forget about your ex. Rather, let time heal your wounds while having a mindset of living above your negative feelings. Moving on at your own pace is what is most important and it helps you sort out your thoughts and feelings better.

9. Stay off any social media platform that reminds you of your ex.

Social media oozes with photos, posts, and memories of the time spent with your ex. Do yourself a big favor and log off for the meantime to prevent you from stalking your ex and revisiting old photos, bringing those memories to life.

10. Accept the facts and move on.

You must move on by rationally accepting several facts about the breakup. The first order of business, accept the fact that your old relationship is gone and move forward with your life. There is a moment of clarity after a breakup where you finally let go of those “what ifs” of trying to win the relationship back and instead start taking your own life back.

Some of the facts you must accept includes:

(A)  What led to the breakup

(B)  What was the red flag you ignored in your previous relationship

Read: The Red Flags To Look Out For In Your Relationship

(C)  Did your partner truly loved you?

(D)  What did you learned from your previous relationship? Etc.

11. Take time and step out.

Adventures are good therapy for healing. It has its own healing power. Nothing else better clears the head and heals your wounds than a good adventure. Be it a road trip, attending your favorite music concert if you’re a lover of music, these are some of the good ways to overwrite negative feelings with awesome fresh experiences.

12. Live your life.

One of the most important steps in moving on is knowing that not all relationship is supposed to end well. So you just have to lick your wounds, stand up, and keep moving. It is a fact of life.

Read: 10 Ways How To Change Your Mindset For A Happy And Successful Life

13. Feel your feelings.

Weather the break-up is still fresh or not, there’s no shame in feeling bad for what happened.

It’s completely okay not to feel okay. All you need do is to assess the damage before you go into another relationship.

Final note: There is no need to rush through the process of learning how to get over being dumped. The most important thing is realizing the only way to go is forward.

Don’t lapse into the circumstances that brought you into that kind of pain.

When there’s life, there’s hope.

Read: How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship

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