Do you feel anxious that your marriage isn’t working?Are you unhappy that your relationship with your spouse is always hostile and aggressive or you feel like an old furniture in the corner of the sitting room?
Read Why Is Love So Complicated it'll give you more insight.
The hard fact is that most present day marriages
have become so complicated. It’s getting tough daily with couples willing to snap
at the slightest provocation.
Most couples seem ready to get physical with their
spouse than take efforts to make their marriage work. Little wonder why divorce
is becoming more and more common.
In-fact, it has become the order of the day. Some
while saying ‘I do’, have the option of backing out whenever there is a
challenge.
Who told you there won’t be challenges? From my
previous post, I stated that marriage is a fight. You must fight to keep your
home “both parties”.
Does this imply that marriages in the past were less
complicated, efficient and worked better? Well, In a way I’ll say YES. They were
less complicated and worked better.
Back then you could see couples taking the
effort to see their marriage work.
Every successful marriage you see around today is
going through same old process of the past, ‘commitment, hard work and
investment’.
Ask those around you that have been married for 15 –
30 years, they’ll tell you they’ve had their share of conflicts but their
marriage was devoid of bitterness.
Of cause, they fought but never allowed the fights last
more than a day and they worked hard to sweeten their relationship with loads
of love, care and attention.
So why can’t present day marriages be like that too?
Most relationships lack tolerance, compatibility and
lack proper means of communication these days making the marriage complicated
and aggressive.
Here
are some things to be mindful about to avoid complications in your marriage.
1.
Intolerance
Intolerance
is a common feature of most present day marriages. Insignificant faults/errors
are escalated and made into a big deal. It is essential to be open to the idea
of making adjustments if you want your marriage to work – and this should be done
by both partners.
Nurturing
your marriage with lots of care, love and patience can remedy your reactions of
anger and discomfort which are inevitable when ‘two becomes one’.
2.
Money
According to research, couples fight about money
twice as much as they fight about other things.
Money puts a huge tension on relationships. It is
important to understand your partner’s money mindset and they’re either of
these: they are hoarder, spender, money monk, avoider, or stockpile.
It also helps to be in same page with your spouse to
ensure that your financial expectations and priorities are the same.
Be mindful of the fact that you must never keep
financial secrets from your spouse.
Have honest conversations about things related to
monthly expenditure and budgets. Watch your own expectations and if you feel
that you need help handling money matters, then seek the help of a financial expert.
3.
Taking each other for granted
After
some years in marriage, we unconsciously take our partners for granted. We become
too familiar with the whole idea. Our partner become one of our shirts we
decide when to put on.
Make
time to look good and make time to cook a meal for her or take her to the movie
and love her.
Treat
your man with some respect. Thinking it’s okay to let go of these things after 4
years of marriage is not okay!
Showing appreciation for one another, telling them how much you still love them and
listening to their concerns after a hard day of work can positively impact a
marriage for a long, long time.
Interact
with each other like you’re best of friends, which you actually are and make your
marriage interesting. Remember, you’re in control here!
4.
Understanding
Working
on yourself to become more understanding towards your spouse’s feelings and
perspective plays a big role in the success of your marriage.
Respect
is another factor partners should not joke with. Always be respectful towards
the other and never let yourself drift away from your spouse mentally or
physically.
Practice
empathy as much as possible.
5.
Expectations
When
someone gets into a marriage, having set all sorts of expectations and some
could be unrealistic expectations.
It’s
important to know that marriage isn’t a cure for loneliness and boredom, though
it could be.
In
most cases, marriage isn’t an easy transition for many.
It’s
a sudden change of lifestyle, hard work and demands a lot of love, respect and
nurturing.
Stop
thinking that your partner is responsible for your happiness; make sure you are
both expecting the right things out of the marriage.
In
essence, have same expectations and if there’ll be any difference, let your
partner know about it and they have to agree with you.
Omonode Nyerhovwo -
“Like
what I always talk about, communication is essential. Quite alright, husband
and wife have been together for awhile and understand/know each other to a
large extent”.
“Hubby’s
personality is another, if not a major contributory factor and different people
have different personalities/ how they react to situations/events”.
“The
bottom line, understanding and communication. You understand your partner, you
know how best to communicate with them”.
With
reference to #4, we see that understanding is best accompanied by
communication. When there’s no understanding and good communication in your
marriage, you’re just living together. You’re not in a relationship and this
will make marriage complicated.
Relationship/marriage
means love, care, respect, understanding and good communication.
Marriage is a beautiful relationship only when it is
nurtured with love, care and respect.
Do not complicate your marriage and lose your
happiness. Embed love, care and respect into it to make it worthwhile and meaningful.
Picture: Pexels
Why Are Present Day Marriages Complicated
Reviewed by Civian
on
10:14
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Reviewed by Civian
on
10:14
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