How to Be Friends with Someone You Like without Losing Your Mind This Christmas

Liking a friend could make things little bit complicated for vast majority. But you can learn how to be friends with someone you truly like without going nutty.

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You can learn how to be friends with someone you like, but you just have to take a few steps for it to be manageable and to be fine.

You might have crush on a friend which sounds weird most a times. You spend quality time with them, but it’s totally nonsexual.

All you think of each day is tell them you like them, but you really don’t want to make things bizarre or ruin your friendship which sometimes get ruined when you make the move. You still have to know this.

Are you already friends?

This is an important question to consider when you want to know how to be friends with someone you like.

If you’re already friends, you have a soft foundation which you could leverage on. You are comfortable around this person – it could be a goal.

Of course, it’s always beneficial to have a friendship before a relationship. It gives a soft landing. But, forming friendship with the intents of taking it to another level could make things get messy.

I don’t totally believe in the friend zone as it makes a friendship appear like a consolation prize for a serious relationship.

If you truly like someone, you’ll be contented just to be their friend and not disappointed that you don’t get more from them.

“If you try to be friends with someone you like in order to get them to like you, you are being tricky, not really romantic and you could be described as dishonest”.

It’s best to have a mindset of 50/50. If it’ll be, it’ll be. You have to accept whatever outcome or reply you get from them and remain their friend if you truly like them.

Know that just because you feel this way about them doesn’t mean they feel same way about you. You just might not meet up with their standard.

You might not like what I used “standard”. Unfortunately, it’s so true.
We all have a set standard for some things if not everything in our lives.

Note: Being friends with someone you love seems like it would complicate things in the long run, instead, it can make the whole process much easier.

The bottom line is that they know you and you know them. You respect one another, love your company, understand one another and want the other to be happy with or without you.

You sure have to decide if you want to make a move on your friendship (taking it to another level) , share how you feel, or try to move on and remain in the friend zone.

How to be friends with someone you like without losing your mind this Christmas

Here are some dos and don’ts on how to be friends with someone you like without going crazy.


1. Try not to be doormat
When you like someone, it’s obvious you want them to like you in return. One of the best ways to do that is to be polite, respectful and be caring – you might have to learn this if you don’t have it in-built. Makes sense hun?

Note that you do not have to run errands for them or do everything they ask just because you want them to like you.

That will not only make things more difficult for you, but it’ll not grow your friendship. Going the extra mile for a friend is cool, but going above and beyond for a friend you like as more than a friend is discounting all you truly have to offer if not 
properly checked.

2. Be respectful
You may be upset, but you’ll have to keep your cool and remain respectful. Know that because they are your friend, doesn’t mean they owe you a chance at a relationship and it does not mean they should see that you like them without telling them how you feel.

If they reject your move on a relationship, be respectful and have a high regard for their opinion while still being friends.

“Not everyone can handle being friends after a rejection for a relationship” but it shows your level of maturity if you’re able to manage the situation and could probably give you a chance some other time.


3. Don’t have a concealed motive
Truth be told: being friends with someone you like is not as easy as it sound, but it does not have to be hard if you don’t want it that way. What makes it hard or difficult is trying to convince or manipulate them to liking you.

Having a concealed or hidden agenda for your friendship could paint you as a manipulative person at the long run.  Putting effort into that friendship as if you are wooing them is not a good idea. Be yourself as this will help them understand you better.

4. Be appreciative
Don’t see your friendship as step or second place to a relationship. You have to be happy to have them in your life as a friend. You have to see the friendship as something you sincerely appreciate and hold in great esteem and not something you are fine with just because you can’t sleep with them.

You should feel lucky to have this person in your life because friendship is not a punishment; it is something you should simply flow with just like you and your guys or girls.

5. Be true friend
Devaluating decisions made by this person because you so much like them is wrong. In fact, it’s an insult. You should only voice out your opinion on the matter and if you feel your idea is better, there’re ways you could communicate that to them without devaluating their decision.

Devaluating their decisions or opinions means you’re not a true friend.

6. Move on
With reference to #2, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life suffering silently.

If you’ve thought it through and decided not to tell your friend that you like/love them, it is time to move on.

Frequently seeing someone you like can make things even harder for you. So if you’ve decided to move on like #2 above, you must ensure to create some space away from them. Reduce the number of contacts you have etc. it’s like creating boundaries while in a relationship.

Tell them you’re busy with a new project, or work, just find a reason to be away from them even for a week or so.
That little space from them can do you a lot good. It can help you decide on the relationship or move on if you don’t want to tell them how you feel.

8. Do not hang around
Hanging around works perfectly on movies and Tv series, but rarely work in the real world.

Hanging around for them to see that you're interested in them and have been standing right in front of them all this while is unhealthy and will most likely not work.

Letting go is a process, it takes time and some amount of conscious effort. Obviously, you won’t move on immediately, but do have moving on as a second plan incase it doesn’t work out as expected.

9. Treat them like other friend
This could be tough but handy as well. If you won’t drive your friends to the airport, then don’t do so for this particular friend because you like them.

If you would allow a friend vent to you about a date or anything they feel like venting on, let this same friend do same.

If you want to be friend with this one person, you have to be friends with them and do what friends do for each other.

10. Don’t treat them badly
I know how it feels being rejected. It could lead to depression and emotional breakdown.

Don’t take out your emotional frustration or depression on them. That won’t be the right thing to do.

Come to think about it! It’s not their fault you like them and it’s not your fault they don’t feel same way about you.

Look at it this way; if you can’t treat them with some level of kindness, maybe you’re not capable of being their friend in the first place.

11. Accept their relationships
Peradventure, this person is in a relationship and you didn’t know until you made a move, that doesn’t give you the right to be rude to their significant other when you meet them.

If you really want to know how to be friends with someone you like, you must realize you are just friends. This means they can go on a date or be in a relationship with whoever they so choose to be with.

12. Date
With reference to #11, be open to other options around you. You could meet someone you like even more but this is possible when you keep an open mind.


13. Don’t play thee guilt game with them
Many people put this game into action once the supposedly love of their life doesn’t feel the same way about them.

They do things to make their friend feel terrible about themselves for not liking them in return.

Feelings are not something you can just decide to feel or not to feel. If they don’t like you in the same way you have to be okay with it.
If you cannot do that, you should not be friends with them.

14. Don’t make them jealous
Don’t brag about someone you’re seeing with the aim to make them jealous. Don’t parade someone hot in front of them.

This does not only make you seem immature, but it is disrespectful to your friend and the person you’re parading.


15. Tell your friend how you truly feel about them
It’s good to let your friend know how you feel about them at some point. But if you don’t see the need, let go and don’t act funny. Or if you need to get your feelings off your chest in order to move on and maintain the friendship, do it without hesitating.

But remember the outcome is 50% chance and whatever the outcome is, accept it and move on.

Christmas!!!

This isn’t the time for reckless behavior. Be who you are to your friends without losing your mind this Christmas.

Christmas is the season to spread love and spend time with your loved ones. It’s also the time to get fat because of all the merriment that comes with the festivity. So, a big warm, fat, Merry Christmas to you and your family.

With love: from JUILAL.


Picture: Pexels
How to Be Friends with Someone You Like without Losing Your Mind This Christmas How to Be Friends with Someone You Like without Losing Your Mind This Christmas Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 15:25 Rating: 5

2 comments:

  1. Impressive.
    Thanks for the tips. Compliments Juilal.

    ReplyDelete

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