13 Secrets To A Successful Marriage

Successful couples are know-how; they always sought for ways to be better. They read books/articles, attends couples seminars, get mentors for marriage and observe how and what other successful couples do.


Note that all successful couples also learn from their experiences in marriage from the help of the following secrets and these secrets aren’t changing anytime soon. So the earlier you recognize and accept them, the more pleasurable your marriage will be.

1. Anyone you marry has a flaw
There’re no perfect human on earth. Except you’re daydreaming or in the movies where you see perfect prince charming /princess of all flawless character. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness or flaws, you can't get the best out of their strength.

2. Everyone has a history
Are you an angel? If not, your significant other isn’t an angel too. When you get married or you want to get married, stop digging into someone's past like a detective looking for errors from their past. This doesn’t mean you won’t check them out, yes you will. But not like someone whose mind is made up on searching for their biggest life time error.

What matters most is the present life of your partner, how compatible you are, if they have you in their future, etc.

3. There’s no marriage without a challenge
Marriage is not and will never be a bed of roses. But you can make it one if you choose to. Contradicting right? Every good marriage out there has gone through a testing time or time of trial.

You prove your true love for your partner in challenging times because they must come. How prepared are you to fight for your marriage? You just must fight for your marriage. You might ask why or how? You have to fight for what you love and protect it. Fighting for your marriage also means making up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of trials. This may include finance, health challenge, housing, children’s need, etc.

4. Success of marriages differ from one another
Greatest of marriage killer is judging your marriage against another. We often forget we didn’t get married to those marriages but our partner and we didn’t get married the same day. Even at that, our understanding of marriage differs, so also our preparedness.

Also note that you don’t know the amount of sacrifices marriage A or B has sacrificed over time. So don't compare your marriage with another. We can’t be equal since our fingers aren’t equal. Some will be far, some behind. Just like on a journey, we depart a place at same time but arrive at our final destinations at varying times.

Marriage stress must come. But to avoid them, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true if you have one.

5. Successful marriages work with dreams/goals
With reference to #4, your marriage will likely fail if it has no dreams/goals or vision to run with (write the vision and make it plane).

So, instead of comparing other successful marriages with yours, write down a realistic goal for your marriage, let your partner understand this goal so you too can work towards achieving it. Don’t forget, challenges will come, but your dream/goals with love will keep you going.

6. To get married is declaring a fight
With reference to #3, when you get married, you’ve just declared a fight against enemies of marriage. Dear, there’re lots of marital enemies out there and some of them are:
Ignorance, Un-forgiveness, Third party influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack of love, Rudeness, Laziness, Disrespect, Cheating
You must be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

7. There is no perfect marriage just like there’re no perfect human
With reference to #5, there is no readymade marriage like readymade clothes you just peak from the shelf, put on and go.

Marriage involves work and work and work. Marriage is hard work and I mean it. You must be ready to work daily on it just the way you water flower. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. Marriage needs care, just the way you care for your looks.

If you don’t take care of your marriage like a car, it’ll break down somewhere on the highway, exposing the owner to great danger or some unhealthy conditions that may cost them their life.

8. You won’t get a complete person you desire
With reference to #1, it’s like a natural law that you can’t get a complete or perfect partner. No matter how much they look beyond perfection, there’s always something you won’t totally agree with about your partner. In a way, you get the person in the form of raw material for you to mould and craft the person that you so desire and this is real love.

This can only be achieved through love, patience and proper communication.

9. Getting married is taking risk
All about life is risk, so is marriage. It is not exempted from the equation. You can’t foresee what will happen in the future but to work and hope for the beast all day.  Situations do change so leave room for necessary adjustments. Several changes can occur in a marriage. Finance could be affected if a partner loses their good job. What if you fail to have babies? We all want the best in our marriages, hence we must be prayerful otherwise you might divorce at the slightest snap.

10. Marriage is not a contract

It’s so unfortunate that many view marriage as a contract. And sure, contract can be terminated any time. The earlier we change our mindset on marriage, the better for everyone. Marriage is permanent deal. That’s where the fun is. Marriage needs total commitment.

Love is like glue. It sticks couples together happily ever after.
Note that divorce start in the mind, fed and harvested in the mind before coming to reality. Don’t entertain thoughts of a divorce and don’t threaten your significant other with divorce.

Decide to remain married.

11. Every marriage has a price to pay
Marriage is like your bank account. It’s what you have/deposit in the account you can withdraw at will. If you deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you’ll enjoy all of it. But if you can’t deposit all of the above, you’re not a candidate for a pleasurable marriage.

12. Marriage crises doesn’t mean it’s over
Like the seas roaring, so is storm in marriages. The oceans can’t exist without ripples, so are marital storms. They’re there to test your love for your spouse.

These storms may sound very loud, scary and sure dangerous. But to get through, you have to keep your head up and keep stirring the wheels. Most often, it’s out of great pain that people succeed in life including marriages.

13. Love is not just a feeling
Over time in marriage, feelings of happiness could fluctuate but true love is based on couple’s decisions about their commitment to each other. “for better… - when it’s all good and when it’s terrifying”.

Picture: Pexels
13 Secrets To A Successful Marriage 13 Secrets To A Successful Marriage Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 10:48 Rating: 5

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