Why Are Present Day Marriages Complicated

Do you feel anxious that your marriage isn’t working?Are you unhappy that your relationship with your spouse is always hostile and aggressive or you feel like an old furniture in the corner of the sitting room?


Read Why Is Love So Complicated it'll give you more insight.

The hard fact is that most present day marriages have become so complicated. It’s getting tough daily with couples willing to snap at the slightest provocation.

Most couples seem ready to get physical with their spouse than take efforts to make their marriage work. Little wonder why divorce is becoming more and more common. 

In-fact, it has become the order of the day. Some while saying ‘I do’, have the option of backing out whenever there is a challenge.

Who told you there won’t be challenges? From my previous post, I stated that marriage is a fight. You must fight to keep your home “both parties”.

Does this imply that marriages in the past were less complicated, efficient and worked better? Well, In a way I’ll say YES. They were less complicated and worked better. 

Back then you could see couples taking the effort to see their marriage work.
Every successful marriage you see around today is going through same old process of the past, ‘commitment, hard work and investment’.

Ask those around you that have been married for 15 – 30 years, they’ll tell you they’ve had their share of conflicts but their marriage was devoid of bitterness.

Of cause, they fought but never allowed the fights last more than a day and they worked hard to sweeten their relationship with loads of love, care and attention.

So why can’t present day marriages be like that too?

Most relationships lack tolerance, compatibility and lack proper means of communication these days making the marriage complicated and aggressive.

Here are some things to be mindful about to avoid complications in your marriage.

Intolerance is a common feature of most present day marriages. Insignificant faults/errors are escalated and made into a big deal. It is essential to be open to the idea of making adjustments if you want your marriage to work – and this should be done by both partners.

Nurturing your marriage with lots of care, love and patience can remedy your reactions of anger and discomfort which are inevitable when ‘two becomes one’.

2. Money
According to research, couples fight about money twice as much as they fight about other things.

Money puts a huge tension on relationships. It is important to understand your partner’s money mindset and they’re either of these: they are hoarder, spender, money monk, avoider, or stockpile.

It also helps to be in same page with your spouse to ensure that your financial expectations and priorities are the same.

Be mindful of the fact that you must never keep financial secrets from your spouse.

Have honest conversations about things related to monthly expenditure and budgets. Watch your own expectations and if you feel that you need help handling money matters, then seek the help of a financial expert.

3. Taking each other for granted
After some years in marriage, we unconsciously take our partners for granted. We become too familiar with the whole idea. Our partner become one of our shirts we decide when to put on.

Make time to look good and make time to cook a meal for her or take her to the movie and love her.

Treat your man with some respect. Thinking it’s okay to let go of these things after 4 years of marriage is not okay!

Showing appreciation for one another, telling them how much you still love them and listening to their concerns after a hard day of work can positively impact a marriage for a long, long time.

Interact with each other like you’re best of friends, which you actually are and make your marriage interesting. Remember, you’re in control here!

4. Understanding
Working on yourself to become more understanding towards your spouse’s feelings and perspective plays a big role in the success of your marriage.

Respect is another factor partners should not joke with. Always be respectful towards the other and never let yourself drift away from your spouse mentally or physically.

Practice empathy as much as possible.

5. Expectations
When someone gets into a marriage, having set all sorts of expectations and some could be unrealistic expectations.

It’s important to know that marriage isn’t a cure for loneliness and boredom, though it could be.

In most cases, marriage isn’t an easy transition for many.

It’s a sudden change of lifestyle, hard work and demands a lot of love, respect and nurturing.

Stop thinking that your partner is responsible for your happiness; make sure you are both expecting the right things out of the marriage.

In essence, have same expectations and if there’ll be any difference, let your partner know about it and they have to agree with you.

Omonode Nyerhovwo -
“Like what I always talk about, communication is essential. Quite alright, husband and wife have been together for awhile and understand/know each other to a large extent”.

“Hubby’s personality is another, if not a major contributory factor and different people have different personalities/ how they react to situations/events”.

“The bottom line, understanding and communication. You understand your partner, you know how best to communicate with them”.

With reference to #4, we see that understanding is best accompanied by communication. When there’s no understanding and good communication in your marriage, you’re just living together. You’re not in a relationship and this will make marriage complicated.

Relationship/marriage means love, care, respect, understanding and good communication.

Marriage is a beautiful relationship only when it is nurtured with love, care and respect.

Do not complicate your marriage and lose your happiness. Embed love, care and respect into it to make it worthwhile and meaningful.

Picture: Pexels
Why Are Present Day Marriages Complicated Why Are Present Day Marriages Complicated Reviewed by Civian on 10:14 Rating: 5

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