After a few years of marriage routine, the spark or romance in your marriage can get lost.
After your wedding, everything is new and thrilling. But after a few years go by, for various reasons, a lot of things about your relationship including romance might change. Maybe too much attention given to the kids leading to neglect of your partner, work, friends etc. All of this will make your marriage go from romance to unprecedented boredom. Hence: the reason why you must learn how to reconnect with your partner time after time.
Note that there is not one particular way or trick
to bring the spark in your relationship and it’s not as hard as you think. But
know that for things to go back the way they were or before they changed,
things will definitely need to change one more time and it’s your
responsibility to cause this positive change you so yarn for.
In reconnecting with your
partner, it’s very important to know what led to the disconnection. Take
a walk back into your early days, was it a fight, a situation beyond your
control, children, work, or you just feel you need some air – feeling choked in
the relationship/marriage, probably you stopped doing things you once did
together, no more date nights, you stopped complimenting one another etc.
The fact that you realize things are no longer the
way they were is a positive move towards reconnecting with your partner and it says
a lot. Ensure you two have same mind on the issue. To achieve this, you will
need to ask them if they feel the way you feel about your relationship /
marriage and make them know you want things to return the way they were.
It will take the conscious effort of both of you to
easily reconnect for a sparkling romance.
How to reconnect with your partner
1.
Avoid the routine.
What
do you always do on a particular day, time and probably venue? When you
constantly do the routine, you get bored. Do you go on launch together, the
same restaurant and ordering the same food week after week? Common, there is no
romance about that.
You need to stop this routine and do the unusual.
Change venue for your launch regularly and change your orders. Just try
something new with launch and don’t talk about work during launch.
The
place of regular dates in a relationship cannot be over emphasized. First dates
are always exciting. It has a kind of sensation attached to it.
Do
you remember what your first date looked like? Try to imagine how it was and go
on another date with the first date on your mind. In order word, recreate your
first date.
3.
Acknowledge you both have changed.
Most
people don’t realize on time that they change with time. Their body and
functions are not left out. It’s very important to know that your partner might
not have the same look they had 5 years ago or might not be able to do certain
things they once did with ease.
Maybe
you had all the time to yourself way back, took risks and went on adventures,
but now you have more responsibilities and didn’t know you have changed.
To
reconnect with your partner, you must acknowledge you two have changed and have
more responsibilities so you can plan yourself to keep the spark on. You might
want to take it easy with some of the adventures you once had, but bring back
the memories via pictures, videos etc.
4.
Team work.
With
ref to #3, after acknowledging the changes, it’s important to work as a team to
actualize your set desire. It’ll be a waste of time trying to effect these
changes all by yourself. Decide on what you want to do together about the
changes and both hands should be on deck. For instance, you could do something together
outside the box. Go on a road trip, play football as a team, take a cooking
class, read a book together, just ensure to do something outside the box,
something unusual but fun.
5.
Have a discussion.
Discussion
is a two thing. You talk while the other listen, vis a viz. Most a times when you
have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you can go through the
relationship without noticing you no longer listening to the person when they
speak.
For
proper reconnecting with your partner, you must create time to discuss with
them. Know what they are going through in their individual life, their work,
emotions etc. You could decide to have breakfast together and have a lite
discussion or to discuss over dinner. Though it depends on the magnitude of
what to be discussed.
6. Put in the effort.
It’s
normal to feel comfortable with someone over time, it sure makes it easier. It’s
normal not to feel nervous around someone you truly love. But remember to keep
the passion and chemistry on with whatever way you can. One of such ways
includes spicing up your dressing, your hair style, the way you walk, not
forgetting the very detail of your partner, go on regular dates, etc.
Details
of your partner you should not forget may include their birth date,
anniversary, your partners’ appointments etc.
7. Involve family and friends.
In
reconnecting, you might need to involve those close to you like your friends
and family. They could be of great help in your re-connection process. They help
you see the importance of family.
You
could go on a trip with friends and family. This depends greatly on your
budget. Something more pocket friendly will be to throw a barbecue at your
place and invite everyone over.
8. Be flexible.
Remember
you’ve left the single zone and being married could mean endless planning which
could affect fun and excitement.
But
being flexible, you stand a chance to know how to reconnect with your spouse in
new and unique ways you least expect.
Being flexible means planning a surprise date at
your partners’ office, buy what is needed in the house without being told, cook
with your partner, do the laundry, watch your partners’ favorite Tv show with
them etc.
9.
Say I love you and mean it.
Most
people say these powerful emotional words without meaning what they say.
Unfortunately, it is easily detected when you say “I love you” without meaning
it.
At
the early stage of our relationship, we say “I Love You” and really meant it.
But as we journey on, we tend to get too familiar with it and feel no need to
say them since our partner know we love them already.
Yes,
you may think so, you are married after all and it’s been 5 years down the line,
but that shouldn’t stop you from saying it over and over again.
When
your partner returns home after a long day, say “I Love You” with a touch. It could
be with a hug, peck etc. It sends a strong emotional message. Your partner
feels secure when you use such words and actually mean every bit of it.
10. Touch with intimacy.
With
ref to #9, when it is accomplished with a touch, conveys stronger message. Touches
are of different types and each has its own meaning.
Most
often, intimacy is one of the foremost things that get lost in a marriage. One
of the simplest ways to reconnect with your partner is via intimate touch such
as a peck on the cheek or their forehead in the morning, rubbing their
shoulders when they return from work – this help in relieving stress from work,
or cuddling them during their favorite Tv show.
11. Get help from a counselor.
Some
school of thought believes if all else fails try counseling. But you don’t have
to wait that long.
If
you realize you are disconnected from your partner but don’t know how to
reconnect to them, it’s safer to talk to a marriage counselor ASAP.
If this is the case, I will advice you talk to your
spouse first, tell them how you feel about the relationship. Let them know you
don’t want to lose your connection and romance completely, but don’t know how
to go about it, hence you need the help of a counselor.
It could really be difficult to reconnect with your
partner, but it’s pretty great you acknowledge you are disconnected and need to
be reconnected ASAP and the above will guide you towards actualizing your
desired goal for your relationship / marriage.
Picture: Pexels
How To Reconnect with Your Partner For Sparkling Romance
Reviewed by Civian
on
09:00
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Reviewed by Civian
on
09:00
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