How To Reconnect with Your Partner For Sparkling Romance

After a few years of marriage routine, the spark or romance in your marriage can get lost.


After your wedding, everything is new and thrilling. But after a few years go by, for various reasons, a lot of things about your relationship including romance might change. Maybe too much attention given to the kids leading to neglect of your partner, work, friends etc. All of this will make your marriage go from romance to unprecedented boredom. Hence: the reason why you must learn how to reconnect with your partner time after time.

Note that there is not one particular way or trick to bring the spark in your relationship and it’s not as hard as you think. But know that for things to go back the way they were or before they changed, things will definitely need to change one more time and it’s your responsibility to cause this positive change you so yarn for.

In reconnecting with your partner, it’s very important to know what led to the disconnection. Take a walk back into your early days, was it a fight, a situation beyond your control, children, work, or you just feel you need some air – feeling choked in the relationship/marriage, probably you stopped doing things you once did together, no more date nights, you stopped complimenting one another etc.

The fact that you realize things are no longer the way they were is a positive move towards reconnecting with your partner and it says a lot. Ensure you two have same mind on the issue. To achieve this, you will need to ask them if they feel the way you feel about your relationship / marriage and make them know you want things to return the way they were.

It will take the conscious effort of both of you to easily reconnect for a sparkling romance.

How to reconnect with your partner

1. Avoid the routine.
What do you always do on a particular day, time and probably venue? When you constantly do the routine, you get bored. Do you go on launch together, the same restaurant and ordering the same food week after week? Common, there is no romance about that.

You need to stop this routine and do the unusual. Change venue for your launch regularly and change your orders. Just try something new with launch and don’t talk about work during launch.

The place of regular dates in a relationship cannot be over emphasized. First dates are always exciting. It has a kind of sensation attached to it.

Do you remember what your first date looked like? Try to imagine how it was and go on another date with the first date on your mind. In order word, recreate your first date.

3. Acknowledge you both have changed.
Most people don’t realize on time that they change with time. Their body and functions are not left out. It’s very important to know that your partner might not have the same look they had 5 years ago or might not be able to do certain things they once did with ease.

Maybe you had all the time to yourself way back, took risks and went on adventures, but now you have more responsibilities and didn’t know you have changed.

To reconnect with your partner, you must acknowledge you two have changed and have more responsibilities so you can plan yourself to keep the spark on. You might want to take it easy with some of the adventures you once had, but bring back the memories via pictures, videos etc.

4. Team work.
With ref to #3, after acknowledging the changes, it’s important to work as a team to actualize your set desire. It’ll be a waste of time trying to effect these changes all by yourself. Decide on what you want to do together about the changes and both hands should be on deck. For instance, you could do something together outside the box. Go on a road trip, play football as a team, take a cooking class, read a book together, just ensure to do something outside the box, something unusual but fun.

5. Have a discussion.
Discussion is a two thing. You talk while the other listen, vis a viz. Most a times when you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you can go through the relationship without noticing you no longer listening to the person when they speak.

For proper reconnecting with your partner, you must create time to discuss with them. Know what they are going through in their individual life, their work, emotions etc. You could decide to have breakfast together and have a lite discussion or to discuss over dinner. Though it depends on the magnitude of what to be discussed.

6. Put in the effort.
It’s normal to feel comfortable with someone over time, it sure makes it easier. It’s normal not to feel nervous around someone you truly love. But remember to keep the passion and chemistry on with whatever way you can. One of such ways includes spicing up your dressing, your hair style, the way you walk, not forgetting the very detail of your partner, go on regular dates, etc.

Details of your partner you should not forget may include their birth date, anniversary, your partners’ appointments etc.

7. Involve family and friends.
In reconnecting, you might need to involve those close to you like your friends and family. They could be of great help in your re-connection process. They help you see the importance of family.

You could go on a trip with friends and family. This depends greatly on your budget. Something more pocket friendly will be to throw a barbecue at your place and invite everyone over.

8. Be flexible.
Remember you’ve left the single zone and being married could mean endless planning which could affect fun and excitement.

But being flexible, you stand a chance to know how to reconnect with your spouse in new and unique ways you least expect.

Being flexible means planning a surprise date at your partners’ office, buy what is needed in the house without being told, cook with your partner, do the laundry, watch your partners’ favorite Tv show with them etc.

9. Say I love you and mean it.
Most people say these powerful emotional words without meaning what they say. Unfortunately, it is easily detected when you say “I love you” without meaning it.

At the early stage of our relationship, we say “I Love You” and really meant it. But as we journey on, we tend to get too familiar with it and feel no need to say them since our partner know we love them already.

Yes, you may think so, you are married after all and it’s been 5 years down the line, but that shouldn’t stop you from saying it over and over again.

When your partner returns home after a long day, say “I Love You” with a touch. It could be with a hug, peck etc. It sends a strong emotional message. Your partner feels secure when you use such words and actually mean every bit of it.

With ref to #9, when it is accomplished with a touch, conveys stronger message. Touches are of different types and each has its own meaning.

Most often, intimacy is one of the foremost things that get lost in a marriage. One of the simplest ways to reconnect with your partner is via intimate touch such as a peck on the cheek or their forehead in the morning, rubbing their shoulders when they return from work – this help in relieving stress from work, or cuddling them during their favorite Tv show.

11. Get help from a counselor.
Some school of thought believes if all else fails try counseling. But you don’t have to wait that long.

If you realize you are disconnected from your partner but don’t know how to reconnect to them, it’s safer to talk to a marriage counselor ASAP.

If this is the case, I will advice you talk to your spouse first, tell them how you feel about the relationship. Let them know you don’t want to lose your connection and romance completely, but don’t know how to go about it, hence you need the help of a counselor.

It could really be difficult to reconnect with your partner, but it’s pretty great you acknowledge you are disconnected and need to be reconnected ASAP and the above will guide you towards actualizing your desired goal for your relationship / marriage.

Picture: Pexels
How To Reconnect with Your Partner For Sparkling Romance How To Reconnect with Your Partner For Sparkling Romance Reviewed by Civian on 09:00 Rating: 5

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