How to Disagree Without Arguing In Relationships


Do you know personal preferences are what make people fascinating? We make choices based on our personality differences. Consciously or not, we are attracted to someone who compliments our differences in one or more ways.



Perspectives, opinions and beliefs of others make it interesting in meeting them. In order words, every single individual is a unique being. However, in relationships, competing opinions could be inevitable and can trigger hard feelings and deep anger.


When two people sees’ each other’s opinion invalid or wrong is said to be arguing and this could lead to some serious conflict while in disagreement, there is respect for the other person’s opinion while upholding your point.


To disagree without arguing in relationships simply means that you find a peaceable solution to every problem as they arise. This is actually difficult for some but it really is possible to disagree without having an argument.


Here are some keys to help you avoid arguments while maintaining peace

1. Be calm

Arguments lead to charged atmosphere and if one party is not calm could lead to destructive actions. Learn to be calm when having an argument. Remember you are arguing because you feel the other person’s opinion is wrong. Hence, to make the other person see your point, you must first be calm.


2. Use a calm tone

It is not good enough to be calm but best when you use a calm tone or voice to address the other person. This will make them take a break to reason with you. Noting that you were calm and now you are also using a calm voice to talk. This will give you an edge.


3. Be respectful

When arguing, we tend to loose respect for the other party especially if they are arguing blindly. People handle disagreements better when you don't make them feel as if their opinion is ridiculous or doesn't matter. Be respectful when arguing and always refer to (1) and (2) above.


4. Be friendly

For crying out loud you are not in a competition but conversation. Though in our subconscious, we want to win the argument. We want to be the one with the most reasonable answer or opinion. Just be friendly for peace to reign.


5. Focus on the other persons eyes

Focusing on the other person drives a point. This means you understand what they are saying and you partly agree with them. Though this could be deceptive but you can leverage on it to later drive your point. For this method to be effective, you must refer to (1), (2) and (4).


The best body language to use while disagreeing to avoid arguing is “NOD”. Sounds funny but true. When you focus on the other person’s eyes try to compliment it with regular head nods. This is an absolute way to prove you are on same chapter and it is very effective in driving your own point at the right time. With this level of concentration on the other person, when you start talking they will have no choice than listen to you thereby avoiding arguments.


7. Don’t be manipulative

Most often when we argue, we want to change the other person’s opinion. Yes, very true. But you must be careful not to be manipulative in trying to get the other person to agree with you. Just state your point and leave them to decide.


8. Disagree wisely

It is necessary to apply wisdom when disagreeing with someone. This means you thinking through how to disagree before letting out your opinion. It is important to disagree using the best way to let out your thoughts to avoid hurting the other party.

9. Compromises

Sometimes you might want to consider compromises owning the fact that your opinion might be wrong. To apply (8) above, you should quickly search for a compromise / solution so both of you will be reasonably satisfied.


10. Speak at a regular volume

Unconsciously, when we argue, our voices go up or louder without knowing it and this will definitely charge the atmosphere the more. When you speak at a regular volume, it shows maturity thereby keeping the atmosphere not too saturated. Over-saturated atmosphere will lead to more conflicts in our relationship. This could also lead to relationship anxiety or and dis trust.

11. Avoid exaggerations

Exaggerations are not healthy when arguing.  Avoid terms like “always” and “never”.

12. Give some space / freedom

It is better to have other opinions to yours. In as much as you could be right, it is Important to allow others have their opinions and refer to (13) below.


13. Give up your right to prove you are right

Sometimes it is good to allow someone go ahead and do something their way even when you disagree with their opinion. If you can do this and refer to (1) above you will have less conflict and the person will come for your opinion soon.


To disagree without arguing means finding ways of respecting other people’s opinion without feeling that you need to change yours. When you respect other people’s opinions, you will soon find out that you can disagree without having an argument in your relationships.


Picture: Pixabay

How to Disagree Without Arguing In Relationships How to Disagree Without Arguing In Relationships Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 21:45 Rating: 5

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