Do you know personal preferences are what make people fascinating? We make choices based on our personality differences. Consciously or not, we are attracted to someone who compliments our differences in one or more ways.
Perspectives, opinions and beliefs of others make it
interesting in meeting them. In order words, every single individual is a unique
being. However, in relationships, competing opinions could be inevitable and
can trigger hard feelings and deep anger.
When two people sees’ each other’s opinion invalid
or wrong is said to be arguing and this could lead to some serious conflict
while in disagreement, there is respect for the other person’s opinion while
upholding your point.
To disagree without arguing in relationships simply means that you find a peaceable
solution to every problem as they arise. This is actually difficult for
some but it really is possible to disagree without having an argument.
Here are some keys to
help you avoid arguments while maintaining peace
1. Be calm
Arguments lead to
charged atmosphere and if one party is not calm could lead to destructive
actions. Learn to be calm when having an argument. Remember you are arguing
because you feel the other person’s opinion is wrong. Hence, to make the other
person see your point, you must first be calm.
2. Use a calm tone
It is not good enough
to be calm but best when you use a calm tone or voice to address the other
person. This will make them take a break to reason with you. Noting that you were
calm and now you are also using a calm voice to talk. This will give you an
edge.
3. Be respectful
When arguing, we tend
to loose respect for the other party especially if they are arguing blindly. People
handle disagreements better when you don't make them feel as if their opinion
is ridiculous or doesn't matter. Be respectful when arguing and always refer to
(1) and (2) above.
4. Be friendly
For crying out loud you are not in a competition but
conversation. Though in our subconscious, we want to win the argument. We want to
be the one with the most reasonable answer or opinion. Just be friendly for
peace to reign.
5. Focus on the other persons eyes
Focusing on the other person drives a point. This
means you understand what they are saying and you partly agree with them. Though
this could be deceptive but you can leverage on it to later drive your point. For
this method to be effective, you must refer to (1), (2) and (4).
The best body language to use while disagreeing to
avoid arguing is “NOD”. Sounds funny but true. When you focus on the other person’s
eyes try to compliment it with regular head nods. This is an absolute way to
prove you are on same chapter and it is very effective in driving your own point
at the right time. With this level of concentration on the other person, when
you start talking they will have no choice than listen to you thereby avoiding
arguments.
7. Don’t be manipulative
Most often when we argue, we want to change the
other person’s opinion. Yes, very true. But you must be careful not to be
manipulative in trying to get the other person to agree with you. Just state
your point and leave them to decide.
8. Disagree wisely
It is necessary to apply wisdom when disagreeing
with someone. This means you thinking through how to disagree before letting
out your opinion. It is important to disagree using the best way to let out
your thoughts to avoid hurting the other party.
9. Compromises
Sometimes you might want to consider compromises
owning the fact that your opinion might be wrong. To apply (8) above, you
should quickly search for a compromise / solution so both of you will be
reasonably satisfied.
10. Speak at a regular volume
Unconsciously, when we argue, our voices go up or
louder without knowing it and this will definitely charge the atmosphere the
more. When you speak at a regular volume, it shows maturity thereby keeping the
atmosphere not too saturated. Over-saturated atmosphere will lead to more
conflicts in our relationship. This could also lead to relationship anxiety or
and dis trust.
11. Avoid exaggerations
Exaggerations are not healthy when arguing. Avoid terms like “always” and “never”.
12. Give some space / freedom
It is better to have other opinions to yours. In as
much as you could be right, it is Important to allow others have their opinions
and refer to (13) below.
13. Give up your right to prove you are right
Sometimes it is good to allow someone go ahead and
do something their way even when you disagree with their opinion. If you can do
this and refer to (1) above you will have less conflict and the person will
come for your opinion soon.
To disagree without arguing means finding ways of
respecting other people’s opinion without feeling that you need to change
yours. When you respect other people’s opinions, you will soon find out that
you can disagree without having an argument in your relationships.
Picture: Pixabay
How to Disagree Without Arguing In Relationships
Reviewed by Civian
on
21:45
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Reviewed by Civian
on
21:45
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