How to let go of Guilt in a Relationship

Guilt is an emotional torture we impose on ourselves when we consciously or unconsciously overstep one of our learned ideals or beliefs especially the once we hold dearly.  There are various signs or symptoms of this self-scolding feeling we get.

Guilt in relationship

These symptoms range from minor discomfort to substantial feelings of self-doubt and despair, and thus it’s one of the most common reasons people seek help since they can’t let go of the guilt they feel. Mind you, it is better to feel guilt than not. This means the victim is willing to love and to be loved. It is a sign of wanting to be a better you.

Though excess guilt is one of the greatest load or weight one can carry in the mind.  It enslaves the mind deeply and it has the power of rendering once relationship handicap.  Luckily, just as weight loss programs or exercises help to reduce body size, a change in how you handle your thoughts and actions can help you shed excess guilt for a healthy relationship.

Here are the ways to let go of Guilt in a Relationship

1-         First off, the feeling of guilt is a positive sign you want a better relationship. Some people can’t hold up for a moment once they feel guilty. Here, acknowledgement of the feeling is paramount. Know what caused the guilty feelings maybe from you or your partner / spouse and work on it. Try not to make same error or mistake again to avoid such feelings from reoccurring. Some people feel guilty for the wrong of their partner especially if they did what they did because of their absence. In other words: they were not there for their partners.

2-         Focusing your initial feelings of guilt into constructive action is a valuable achievement. When you accept your feelings and also knowing the source of the feeling is great. Now use this feeling to achieve something more valuable by focusing your initial feeling and strength to be better by your next step of action.

3-         Don’t let the feeling of guilt become a barrier or negative boundary in your relationship. There is no reason to feel continuously guilty for making a mistake. The guilty feeling can set up some negative boundaries unconsciously in a relationship if not well checked. I have always mentioned that there are no perfect humans. Making mistakes show that we are humans and are striving to be better each day.

4-         Apologies are another powerful tool. Feeling guilty about something you did or not mean you have a good heart. Don’t be ashamed to apologize even for what you did not do. Once you have that guilty feeling, apologize. It won.t change your integrity but rather increases it.  Apologies are signs of great strength only to the brave and wise one. Cultivate the habit of apologizing to your partner once you realize you have hurt them in some way.

5-         What lesson have you learnt from the cause of the guilty feeling? Again mistake are inevitable though they can be reduced to a minimal level. But what is essential is the lesson you learnt from what played out and work towards ensuring that it is not deliberately repeated.

6-         Move on: Every one of us is guilty in some way or time for various reasons. Don’t remain in the dark and lonely room because of your error. Moving is important especially when you have learnt one or two lessons¸ apologized and so on. Move on to love your partner else all you have learnt will end up in the waste.

7-         In self-improvement, don’t play the blame game. The blame game could boomerang and you will be wrongly judged. Some people like passing guilt and blame on to others.  Beware of this and for no cause should you do this in your relationship. It will make your partner withdraw.

8-         Make positive changes and let them be physically evident in your attitude. Let these changes be as a result of the love you have for yourself, your partner and the success you want for your relationship.

9-         Avoid self-hate: You make things worse when you hate yourself. When you hate yourself as a result of the guilt, you deny yourself any chances of growing from the experience. Avoid self-hate and give yourself another chance to be better. (Forgive yourself)

10-       Talk things through with your partner or someone you can confide in. this has always help. When you feel guilty about something or for any wrong doing from you or your partner, talking things through could be one of the best ways out. Listening partners do play essential role when it comes to talking things through. Let your partner know how you feel about what you did or what they did. Ensure the atmosphere is conducive enough to talk. The right environment is key as it could aid listening.

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With love
How to let go of Guilt in a Relationship How to let go of Guilt in a Relationship Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 15:38 Rating: 5


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Reshmi.
      I have been on it for awhile and it is taking sometime to resolve. Any suggestion on how to fix it is appreciated.
      Thanks again.

    2. Hi Reshmi.
      The menu not displaying has been taken care of.
      hope you are good.


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