So many relationships are at the verge of breakup as a result of fear unconsciously. Many people live daily in unknown or unconscious fear thereby having negative effects on their relationships.
Fear could
be a powerful tool and can be channeled for effective relationship. From what you must know about fear and its’ consequences, we outlined some of the
consequences of fear that maybe playing in our lives without noticing. They include:
1 Fear kills peace in relationship
2 Fear drains out courage
3 Fear isolates
4 Fear blow things out of proportion
5 Fear equals aging
6 Fear blindfolds its’ victims
7 Fear damages health
8 Fear decreases creativity
9 Fear kills joy
10 Fear equals self-defeat / quick
surrender
11 Fear limits talents
12 Fear could paralyze a relationship
completely
13 Fear creates negative barrier or
boundaries in relationships
14 Fear could also lead to several subconscious
behaviors that are detrimental.
Here are the 7 causes of fear and
their effect on relationship
1- Parental
Fear
It is
obvious that some of the fears experienced or exhibited are learnt from the
fear of our parents. As a child you might not know what it means to fall but
from the expression on the faces of your parents, you start crying. Subsequently,
on recognizing signals of such events, fear is triggered.
2- Associations
of the past / present
Many people
live in fear daily for no other reason but as a result of their past
associations and some as a result of their present associations. ‘Show me your
friend and I will tell you who you are’ is still very much relevant today. The types
of associations we surround ourselves with have a way of shaping us. There are
associations that will build your self-confidence and shoot you to greater
height while there are some that will have negative impact on you. Your past or
presents associations will also have impact on your relationship as whatever
you have learnt from them will speak in your relationship someway.
There are several
associations that you irresponsible and then wonder why you are not responsible
in your relationship. Peradventure you don’t like keeping out way into the
night and now you have an associate or friend dear to you who sees nothing
wrong in keeping late at night, soon you will do same.
These new
characteristics or behaviors that were not part of you could have negative
impact on your relationship especially if your partner / spouse loved you
without them.
Mind the
associations you keep. They will either make or mal you.
3- Guilt
Guilt is a
thorn in the flesh if not resolved {unresolved guilt}. Both high and low in the
society live with guilt daily if not resolved. When guilt is unresolved, it
could lead to fear and sometimes continuous fear. Some people are afraid of
getting into a relationship as a result of been jilted on from their past
relationships. Some don’t want to have kids because of their past experiences
with miscarriage.
Many relationships
are at the verge today as a result of guilt unresolved. Another common and yet
uncommon guilt people experience is lies / deceit. When you lied about certain
important aspect of your life to your partner only for them to discover you
have been lying all these years could amount to some level of guilt now or in the
future of your relationship.
You must
resolve all form of guilt if you truly want to enjoy your relationship. Confess
your past errors and mistakes to your partner so your body and mind will be
free from its hooks and if you don't could lead to mistrust in relationship
4- Hereditary
Fear could
as well be inherited. There are several fears that can be inherited. For instance:
there are cultures in Africa that can infringe fear in a person from that
environment with such cultural values. Like the Yorubas in Nigeria {some parts}
have a festival women are not allowed to participate in or see the masquerade and
if they do, there are rites that must be performed on them. This type of fear
is passed on from generation to generation. Some women from these parts of the Yoruba
land are afraid of going into relationship with men from same culture or with
same cultural values as they don’t want their partners to be part of the
festival.
5- Attention
seeking fear
Some fears
when analyzed properly are uncalled for. Though, they seem real but they are
all for attention. You just want your partner to be around you. Though, the
fear might as well be true and if it is not real, it could have negative effect
on your relationship when your partner discovers it is all for the attention or
trying to use it to discourage him / her from hanging out with friends.
6- Faith in nothing
Fear could
erupt in our lives / relationships when we have fate in nothing. You don’t hold
on to nothing. There are no perfect being; yes. But you must have fate in
something. When you don’t have fate in nothing, fear is inevitable and could
ruin our healthy relationships.
7- Lifestyle
Our lifestyle
cannot be overemphasized when it comes to the causes of fear. How are you
living your life? Or how have you lived your life? Some have lived the ‘free
lifestyle’ they do whatever they feel like as it pleases them and now they are
in a relationship with a partner who frowns at such. Unhealthy lifestyle like
addiction to drugs and alcohol can also cause fear in relationships. When you
are an addict, you could easily be termed irresponsible. Nobody wants to leave
a child with such a person. Serious things will not be committed to such
person.
There are
people who have lost their marriages and kids as a result of addictions. If you
are involved with addiction, you are advised to get help immediately from
professionals.
To overcome
the effect of fear in your relationship, you must ensure to check if these 7
causes of fear are not in your life or lying low waiting for when to show up
uninvited and resolve them promptly so you can have a healthy and pleasant
relationship.
Picture:
Pixabay
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7 Causes of Fear and their Effects on Relationships
Reviewed by Civian
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Reviewed by Civian
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