Have you observed that nobody likes a know-it-all partner? Hence you should not think you’re a pro when it comes to arguing with your significant other.
We all
get into fight with our partners for various reasons including the good, the
bad and the ugly and tend to say things we really did not plan to say and
sometimes, premeditated things too.
It
is very important to note the following things you should NEVER – EVER say
during a fight with your partner.
Words
sad during a fight or when auguring are really damaging. They can leave scars
that won’t heal. They can break one completely. Hurting words can render one
completely useless.
Some
self inflicted victims have attributed their actions to fighting or arguing
with their partners.
Words
are so powerful that they can make or mal you. Those with integrity choose
their words wisely while the foolish speak before thinking.
Some
people need to check their mind for loving fights. To them fighting comes
naturally and they feel all is not well in their relationship if there’s no fight.
They intentionally cause trouble in their relationship just to have a taste of
fight.
There
are ladies that will tell their man to beat them up to be sure He loves them. This
is so abnormal but true. While to others it’s a battleground and they’d rather
steer clear of.
Have
you noticed the biggest problem with arguing with your significant other? Here’s
the problem: there’s no referee, and no one to say, “Hey, that’s enough!” You’re
rather left with emotions soaring with great adrenaline rush and there’s every
possibility to say things that will land you in an uncomfortable zone in your
relationship and in some cases, put an abrupt end to once blossoming
relationship.
Things you should never ever say
when in a fight with your partner
Is
there a right way to fight? Hmmm, I don’t think there is. But one thing to keep
in mind when involved in a fight with the one you claim to LOVE AND RESPECT. You
must respect your partner while fighting with them. Moreover, why are you
fighting? While it isn’t always easy to show respect when in a fight, it’s important
to maintain a loving relationship—even in the midst of an all-out war.
Learn
to stick to relevant topics and avoid pointless insults as you argue with your
significant other.
It’s
best for a partner to bow just for peace and revisit the issue when tension is
down between you too. Relationship should not be a battle ground for any reason
and a partner seeking peace by bowing shouldn’t be taken as a weakling but
treated with respect.
1. I
should have never married you.
This
remark is very toxic and hurtful. Moreover, it contradicts the good times
you've shared in the past based on the current troubles you’re facing in your
relationship. If you find yourself arguing with your partner, keep the argument
on topic so that it's a productive disagreement and not a war of words like
between two superpowers.
2. You're
always on my back.
Stating
always and never during an argument doesn't give your partner credit for
anything good they've done well in the relationship. Such statement also
doesn't acknowledge their little efforts in the relationship. In most cases,
stating 'always' or 'never' is untrue and will derail the topic of discussion
and paint you as a manipulator of facts.
3. I
hate you.
Most
often when we get to the point where you want to spew this out, you probably
don't mean it. If you "hate" something, you want it gone from your
life right?
Whatever
we hate has no value what so ever. Sure you’re angry with your partner when you
are arguing with them. Do partners fight unfair at times? Yes but with the intention
to verbally silence the other.
Ask
yourself: Do you really HATE the person you are currently in a fight with? Probably
not but words like I HATE YOU sends just this very piercing message.
4. I
shouldn't have listened to you.
Here’s
the blame game again: Dropping this line during an argument can instill a
long-lasting, even permanent, doubt on your abilities. Hearing regretful words
like these creates doubt to your love for each other and sends a negative message
to your partner that you made a terrible mistake choosing them over others. It
can also lower your partner's self-esteem. It is so dehumanizing that they can
hate you for life for calling them a mistake.
You
will only end up not fixing the problem but blame game and this might make your
partner never be as open and frank with you ever again.
5.
We’re done.
Feeling
unwanted and disrespected is unbearable in a relationship. However, the threat
of “It’s over” or “Fine, maybe we should break up” is totally destructive.
Yes,
you’re angry but you’re not a 16 year old girl/boy anymore. If you’re really
serious about the relationship, you should choose your words carefully as they
can’t be taken back.
It’s
either you love this person and you want to work it out or you don’t. It’s that
simple dear. Don’t pull the word and pretend you’re done with your relationship
if it’s only a tactic to hurt your partner.
You might end up hurting yourself
if they take it seriously and walk out of the relationship. If you feel like
your partner isn’t taking you seriously, throwing empty threats around isn’t
going to help either. Talk things out with them. That’s what mature people do.
6. You
never change.
When
you bring issues from a previous fight, you're not fighting fair. The truth is
that you could be causing them unnecessary hurt by reminding them of their
inabilities or flaws.
NB: After
an issue has been talked about and resolved, it should be trashed immediately
and never to be dug out again.
When
you attack your partner about how they never change after past arguments, that
is unfair as they might be trying hard to change their ways without you
knowing.
Do all
you can to keep fights on relevant topic.
7. You’re
fat and other body shaming.
If
you really know your partner, then you likely know their insecurities. You
probably know exactly what area you could target that would both hurt their
feelings and make them question their self-worth all at once.
Telling
your partner how you really feel about their body—or poking fun at their weight
or insecurities during a fight is something you can’t take back. You’ll spend
years trying to restore their self-esteem you tore down in a single comment
because of anger or just to be the winner at the end of the day. Even if you
have a totally legitimate reason for being pissed at your partner, leave their
body and looks out of it.
8. You're
just like your mother/father.
Never
compare your partner to anyone during an argument. It hurts to the bone. Not
only does this insult your partner, but it also insults those who are closest/dear
to them.
Try as
much as possible not to say this to your partner no matter how tempted you are.
It's almost impossible to take hurtful words back after they are said. Hence it
becomes inevitable to keep a clear head when in an argument with your partner. If
possible; say nothing, let the atmosphere calm and talk things through with
better reasoning.
9. Reminding
your partner about their past errors - Remember when…
Let’s
say that your partner revealed a personal secret or said something really
insensitive after a few too many shots of Tequila, etc, it is wrong to use a
new argument to bring up past mistakes committed by your partner. Rather discuss
past errors separately/another day.
When
you forgive someone, it means you stop blaming them for their wrongdoing. True
forgiveness means letting go of the past and moving on for the sake of both
parties. Once you forgive, keep it that way, because you never know when your
partner will return the favor of using a past error or mistake against you.
“Wisdom
is profitable to direct when talking about your partners past errors/mistakes”.
10.
You’re stupid.
Never
insult your partner because of their educational level or intelligence. Moreover
you knew their educational level and their reasoning before choosing them. if
you insult them for any of the above, that's a blow below the belt and shows no
character on your part – then you’re the stupid one.
11. Relax.
When
in the middle of an argument with your partner, never, ever tell them to “relax.”
It makes them look stupid before you. You may end up escalating the situation
with the ridiculous word “RELAX”.
It’s
important to know that arguing is about stress relief. It is getting worries or
burdens off our chest and resolving issues at the same time. Telling your significant
other to relax while they’re trying to express their feelings is like
intentionally aggravating the situation by slightly making jest of them and
intentionally taking them and their thoughts and feelings for granted.
12. Forget
it, you won’t understand.
If
you discharge your partner, saying they won't "understand," you're actually
saying your partner doesn’t know you anymore and that’s heartbreaking.
13. It's
fine.
It
most certainly not fine and you know this. You’re actually hurting yourself
more than your partner because your anger is just piling up.
14. I
want a divorce.
With
reference to #5, if there's a word you should not use in an argument jokingly
or not is "divorce." Using divorce or other related words or phrase
like 'I don't think this is going to work anymore,' 'I wish I never would have
married you,' can fast track your relationship to hit the rock.
Once
such words or statements are let out you can’t withdraw them because they didn’t
fall on deaf ear. Trust me; they can put the security of the relationship at risk
and question your loyalty to your significant other. They should not be said in
any form of argument.
One
of the best things you can do while in an argument is to stay on topic. It’s
not the time to start throwing out words you’ve kept for decades that you can’t
ever take back.
If you’re wrong, why not accept a little
responsibility for your wrong? It takes two to argue and occasionally being the
one to say, “Hey, I’m sorry for this and that” will go a long way when it comes
to arguing and not hurting feelings of one another.
14 Things You Should Never Say In A Relationship Fight
Reviewed by Civian
on
12:50
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Reviewed by Civian
on
12:50
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