The Reality Of Marriage And How To Get The Balance

One of the things people fail to learn in marriage is that to have a good relationship, you need to learn how to live with another person. A good marriage does not happen by default. Else it won’t be fun living together as couples.


If you have ever accommodated someone at your apartment or if you lived with your significant other for long while dating, you’d realize learning to live with another person goes beyond romantic or physical attraction. It could be one of the most challenging task ever and this is the reality of married life.

It sounds easy to live with another person but those married can without doubt relate to the point I am making.

For instance, you lived alone for some years before you got married. Hence you were used to living on your own for a sometime right?

So you ate whenever you liked. You slept whenever you liked. You enjoyed uninterrupted sleep. Suddenly you’re married and so suddenly, things have changed. You can no longer enjoy uninterrupted sleep, eat whenever you liked, do the laundry ones a month, etc.

If you’re quick to wake up to reality, the better for you too.   

Now you realize you have to adjust to living with most certainly someone with totally different ideology belief or family rituals.

You wanted the house arranged in a certain way, your Significant other wants it the other way round. So you too must meet half-way.

Possibly you hate having the air conditioning system on for a long time for any reason while your partner loves it on till eternity, you have to reach a concession.

It is always a big change for everyone in the early days of marriage because you have to learn how to live with another person since you were used to taking your own decisions and doing your thing whenever and in any way you wanted.

As a new wife/husband, you have to consider your partner on virtually everything. Yes, you’d preferred to always have your way but not so in marriage.

You could not always have your way because you’re not married to yourself. You must realize you’re dealing with another human being.

There are times you don’t feel like eating the whole day but you have to consider your partner.

There are times it won’t be convenient for your partner to do certain things for you but they have to think about you/your happiness.

It’s a different phase when kids start coming. You still have to adjust to living with them. it’s really a different ball game with kids plus more financial commitment.

As a new couple, you're used to sleeping and waking up when you want or as agreed. But with a new child, you get to wake up when you really don’t want to.

The balance in marriage is that you’re not going to have your way 100 percent of the time even with the best commutation and award winning partner.

You have to consider your spouse and children in your decision making for EVER!

If you are going into marriage with the mindset that you're going to be looking into each other's eyes every night over candlelight dinner, have scented flowers delivered to you in bed every morning, no conflicts at home, be treated like egg all the time, etc, you must be kidding. You sure need to wake up to reality. Every good relationship out there is a product of hard work, conscious decision making by individuals and collectively as a family. It doesn’t mean there won’t be quarrels and fighting but how you handle those situations is all that mater.

Love is a beautiful thing. But it’s not always so.

There's a reality to married life beyond the 'and they lived happily ever after' like you see in movies. They often show you two people walking off into a beautiful house or ride in a boat to an island but they end the movie right there with everyone cheering and never show what happens after that.

Note: A good marriage does not happen by default and this is why good character is very important when it comes to marriage. You just can't rely only on feelings.

The wedding day is just the beginning of another chapter. Have you thought of what you’re going to write here?  If you want the best out of this chapter, then you have to make sacrifices, walk in love, forgive, communicate properly and ask questions were you don’t understand, etc?

Don’t forget to ask for divine help too.

Picture: Pexels
The Reality Of Marriage And How To Get The Balance The Reality Of Marriage And How To Get The Balance Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 19:23 Rating: 5

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