We’ve
once established that healthy relationships almost all of the time will lift
you up and not pull you down. Of cause there’re no perfect relationships, but
healthy relationship has a way of making you feel good with yourself.
There’s
an inner feeling of excitement that can’t be explained sometimes and this unexplainable feeling of excitement keeps you going.
Being
with a partner who endlessly disrespects you could be harmful and one of the
ways to avoid such disrespect is to talk about the following:
21 important things
to talk about for a healthy relationship
1.
Emotional growth.
We
all grow emotionally at some point and it’s important to share this information
about your emotional growth with your partner. If you notice you’ve become
wiser, less reactive, more or less sensitive to touch, more compassionate, etc,
share that with your partner. This will help them understand you ad be of great
help to overcome or challenges. Point out the emotional growth you see in your
partner as well.
2.
Places you would love to explore.
Do
you know a discussion about travel can spark a lot of new conversations? Start
a conversation about the places you’d love to visit soon or sometime in the
future.
Though
it will be more interesting if your partner is a travel enthusiast. Maybe you
want to travel to your grandmother’s house, your parents’ house or you want to
go on a cruise round the world, just mention it to your partner. This is one
other sure way of reconnecting and staying stronger as couples/partners.
3.
Your everyday activity.
This
tip is very important for any serious relationship. If you want your partner to
understand and trust you, then you must spend time talking about your
day-to-day activities. Don’t feel bad to discuss what time you woke up, what
you ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner. What you discussed with your colleagues
at work, etc and this will help your partner understand what happens when
you’re way apart.
There’s
no better way to make your partner understand your environment other than talk
about what you do every day and when your schedule changes, do well to let them
know there’s a change in your schedule.
4.
Personal goals.
Collective
goals are important in relationships as well as personal goals. It’s healthy
and as well important to have individual goals. Note that we all have our
hobbies and being in a relationship doesn’t mean the end of your hobby or
goals. In fact, your partner should be a driving force to achieving your
personal goal. If they’re not, then there’s a question mark somewhere.
Probably
you want to lose weight, learn how to prepare Ghana jollof, or learn how to
dance, or learn other languages, go ahead and set those goals for yourself and
discuss them with your partner.
5.
Collective goals to address.
With
reference to #4, discuss the goals you want to reach together. Relationships won’t
be adventurous without setting collective goals and see yourselves accomplishing
those goals together. All healthy relationships should include shared goals for
the future.
Whether
your goal is to volunteer at an orphanage together or save enough money for a
new car, or volunteer for community service, working together to reach your
goal can help you stay close as a couple. Happy couples work as a team.
6.
Your dreams and aspirations.
With
reference to #4 and #5, daydreaming together can be a great activity in any
healthy relationship. Discuss dreams you had as a child, dreams you’ve let go,
and dreams you still hold onto and not just holding on to them, but working to
achieving them.
If
you forget your dreams and aspirations because of your partner, I’m most
certain you’re in a wrong relationship. Relationships should help us become
better. You’re in a relationship to help your partner achieve their goals just
as they help you achieve yours while working together towards achieving your
collective goals.
7.
Your feelings and thoughts.
Note
that your significant other is not a magician or a super hero and so cannot
read your mind like the ‘Professor in X-men’. Talking about your feelings and
thoughts is crucial because it’s an important part of communication.
Be
willing to share your joys and sorrows with your significant other. Be willing
to talk about what makes you feel angry, when you’re disappointed about
whatever, when you feel embarrassed, hurt, etc.
8.
Family.
Talking
about family can be important. In a nutshell, it will tell a lot about your
background and what or how you want your family to look like. So whether you
have a close relationship with your family or not, let your partner know. It
will give your partner a pictorial view of your childhood experience as well as
what type of relationship you have with your family members and help you make
positive adjustment or moves to reconcile with them if it was a bad one.
Discuss
with your partner how you want your family to be different from your family of
origin, as well as which aspects you want to replicate if there are.
9.
What you’re watching on TV.
Although
watching TV isn’t an active way to grow together as a couple, but discussing
what you’re watching can help you learn something new about each other. Talk about
your favorite TV series, documentaries, etc. You can calm your significant
other by tuning to their favorite TV show. You won’t know their favorite shows
if you don’t talk and sometimes watch with them.
10.
Values.
It’s
essential to share your values with your partner as theirs might be greatly different
from yours. You need to also talk about your priorities in life and also letting
your partner know how you feel about work, family, education, friends, and
leisure time. For instance – what they like to do during leisure. Some do
movies, some road trips, some go hiking while some just want a serene
environment just for two.
It’s
good you let your partner know the things you value the most and what changes
you may want to make to ensure that you’re living according to your values. It could
be difficult for some to leave up to their values without the help of their
partner.
11.
Your current relationship.
This
might be new to most of us. It has become a necessity to discuss the aspects of
your relationship that are working well and also discuss areas that don’t seem
to be working. Openly talking about your relationship can ensure your
relationship stays fresh and exciting keeping the vibes strong.
12.
Vibes.
We
all have and operate at different levels. It’s important to let your partner
know the level at which you function and don’t drag them into your zone. If you
drag your partner to operate at your level, you’ll ware them out quickly and
you won’t get the best out of them. Don’t force your partner to listen to loud
music if they don’t feel like. If you’re an extrovert don’t force your
introvert partner to be like you. It doesn’t work that way.
13.
Your past.
Sharing
information about your past can be very helpful. Talk about your childhood,
past experiences, etc. You can also share how much you’ve learned and changed
over the years. Your partner doesn’t need to know every skeleton in your
closet. However, we learn from other people experiences and we should endeavor
to sieve what we take in.
14.
Money/financial responsibilities.
Budgets
are necessary for proper spending. You need to talk about your budget/spending
with your partner. Discuss your saving and spending habits so they could help monitor
how you spend. But you must be open to correction if you have a bad spending
habit otherwise you’ll see your partner as an enemy. If you combine your
finances, set some financial goals and discuss strategies to help you reach
those goals. Else, what’s the point of combine finance without financial goals.
15.
Spiritual beliefs.
It’s
important to have conversations about your spiritual beliefs especially if you don’t
have the same belief. Also talk about your spiritual belief if you fellowship
at different center/places/ or different denomination. Be willing to listen to
your partner’s beliefs and be open to talking about the similarities and
differences in your beliefs because there’re differences. Don’t express shock
at what there revelations as they will withdraw immediately.
16.
Political view.
You
don’t have to be a politician in order to have a discussion about it. You can
learn a lot about your partner if you have a conversation about politics. Don’t
oppose your partners’ political party if they belong to any but you can discuss
as two mature adults. Any healthy relationship should allow each partner to
feel respected enough to share an opinion, even if it opposes the other
partner’s opinion.
A
friend Omonode Nyerhovwo share more on this.
17.
Number of kids to have.
With
reference to #8, they need to come to an agreement on how many kids they'd
have. They can also go further to talk about the spacing and the best family planning
method to adopt as it has become a necessity in our era.
18.
How to cater for kids.
With
reference to #17, emmm...I know of a family that shared responsibilities
towards their children. The father took up catering for the boys n the mother
for the girls. Not saying it should be so but it's an instance.
They
could plan what methods to use in instilling discipline so it won't be a case
of 'hubby leave Dan alone and Dan ends up feeling daddy hates him and vice
versa'.
To
a larger extent, instilling discipline in children falls largely on the woman
but this does not mean the man should be left completely out of the picture. He
still has vital role to play in terms of instilling discipline.
19.
Location.
This
one is important especially if they're working at different locations. They’ll
have to decide who will have to relocate and all. Sometimes, they might be in
the same location but would love to settle down and raise a family in a
different place.
They
can also talk about their career choices. Sometimes this becomes expedient if
both parties are career people and have jobs that are demanding.
20.
Friends.
It’s
good to have friends but well mannered friends would be preferred. Know who
your partner hangs out with. Decide on the time to spend with friends together
or when you invite them over at you place. You can’t invite friends over
without informing your partner beforehand.
21.
Likes and dislikes.
Your
partner is not in your head and can’t know all your likes and dislikes without
you telling them. So you need to talk to your partner about things you like and
how you like them as well as those things you don’t like.
21 Things To Talk About To Keep A Healthy Relationship
Reviewed by Civian
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Reviewed by Civian
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