What Is Queerplatonic Relationship And How To Address Your Partner

You’re not attracted to a friend but you’re totally in love with them. Ever been there? Here’s what is a queerplatonic relationship and how to recognize one from afar.



Read: 25 Signs To Recognize A Queerplatonic Relationship

The confusing world of friendships, love and romance! Hmm, let’s call it our love for labeling purpose, or just our way to trying to define a specific feeling towards someone, a queerplatonic relationship is something most of us feel at one point or the other.

Read: 10 Signs To Look Out For In A Healthy Relationship

Even if you don’t realize it. Wondering what is a queerplatonic relationship, and what are the signs to recognize.

What is queerplatonic relationship?

A queer platonic relationship is a relationship between two people and they can be different genders/sexes that merges between non-romantic and romantic, and non-sexual and sexual. It’s not friendship, but it’s not a relationship either. It’s that cozy and confusing spot somewhere between friendship and relationship. Most often, we’re confused about our status.

Have you ever felt really close to a friend? Let’s say someone from the same gender. You’re hanging out with them, and you don’t have a genuine reason why you do so, but you’re really happy to be in their company.

Read: 10 Ways How To Change Your Mindset For A Happy And Successful Life

You’re having a drink with this person and you can’t help but feel like holding their hands. You stare at their lips, and you have no idea why, but you imagine what it would feel like kissing them or make out with them. Maybe you’re bisexual, yes, or maybe you’re just in a queerplatonic relationship with this person.

People call this kind of relationship many different things like a quirkyplatonic relationship, quasiplatonic relationship, or by initials ‘QPR’, or  Q Platonic Relationship. So if you come across these words, you now know what it really means. 

Are queerplatonic relationships like friend crushes?

A queerplatonic relationship is one where you feel an intense level of closeness towards someone, and sometimes, there’s attraction, and it’s mutual too. You’re both friends, and at the same time, when others see you both together, they don’t know if they should address you as friends or as lovers.

Read: 11 Shocking Signs That Prove You Are In Love

So is it like a friend crush? Yes, it is, but there’s more to it. A friend crush is when you’re infatuated by a friend because of a specific trait of theirs. But a queerplatonic relationship is when you both decide to move one step up towards relationship territory.

Your feelings could be romantic, or sexual, or both. If you both act upon it, it turns from a crush and moves into queerplatonic territory.

Is there any kind of intimacy in queerplatonic relationships?

There could be romantic or sexual intimacy, if both friends desire it and act upon it. You can be in a queerplatonic relationship with a friend, if you enjoy holding hands, cuddling together, kissing, or even making out or having sex with each other. You could just be two friends, and it could be a secret relationship as well.

But if you’re confused about what you’re feeling towards this friend, chances are, you’re in a queerplatonic romance with them.

Do we have to label it?

No of course, if labeling it makes you feel uncomfortable. But it does exists. If you slept with your friend, and feel intensely attracted to them, you may feel confused about it. This is especially true if it happened after a couple of drinks and now both of you don’t want to talk about it in the fear of embarrassing the other person. Sometimes, it just happens under no influence.

You can ignore it for a while, but if the same kind of sexual or romantic intimacy crops up often between you both, maybe it’s not such a bad idea to actually talk about it. Talking about it will help you define what you share. A romantic relationship or friends with benefits. QPR is something close to friends with benefits.

After all, if it happened once, it’s accidental. But if it’s happening often, maybe you both do share a special connection with each other. Why not talk about it so you can understand how both of you feel towards each other?

Can you be in a relationship with someone and be queerplatonic with someone else?

This happens all the time, and that’s where the awkwardness and embarrassment of queerplatonic relationships crop up. You may be in a relationship with a boyfriend, but you’re intensely attracted to your female best friend.

When you find yourself or both of you acting out on these feelings for each other, you can’t help but wonder if you’re just having a bit of fun, or if there’s some serious attraction in the friendship as well. Though this can be termed cheating to some people.

While it’s okay to express what you feel towards each other, it’s still some kind of cheating if you’ve not made it clear with your own romantic partner. Many people experience this confusion when they pursue a romantic relationship with someone, and yet, are drawn into a queerplatonic relationship with someone else.

Just to be clear, a queerplatonic relationship can be monogamous, or polyamorous. But it’s always right to bring these feelings out in the open so a third person isn’t hurt by your decisions or actions.

How do you address your queerplatonic partner or friend?

The word that’s commonly used to address someone you’re in a queerplatonic relationship with is a “marshmallow” or a “mallowfriend”.

On the other hand, if you have a queerplatonic crush on a friend, and it’s still one-sided because you’ve chosen not to act upon your desire yet, it’s generally called a Squish.

Queerplatonic relationships are very common. Let’s admit it; we have all fallen in love with someone who we shouldn’t really have feelings for. We have all met that awesome friend who was either our mirror image or just “got us.” There are so few people in this world that you can truly call “friend” and who always have your back. For some, that doesn’t always happen in just a romantic relationship.

In a queerplatonic relationship, the intensity and intimacy that you share with one of your friends provides you with more security and fulfillment than you get with the person you are committed to, married to, and having sexual relationships with.

It doesn’t have to be about sexual arousal, they are simply someone who completes you. You really can’t explain why.

Picture: Pixabay

What Is Queerplatonic Relationship And How To Address Your Partner What Is Queerplatonic Relationship And How To Address Your Partner Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 00:30 Rating: 5

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