What is a date supposed to be? Knowing how to go on a first date is like meeting someone for the first time. You really don’t know how it’s going to end but you just have to meet them.
To have a better first date
experience, you must get your dating practices down and this starts with
knowing how to go on first dates.
Read A Calm Mind Is A Healthy Mind
Read A Calm Mind Is A Healthy Mind
Most often, first dates are habitually boring, awkward, unexciting, and even torturous to many.
It’s normal for guys to build
up the occasion in their mind for days or weeks way before hand, only to be let
down after the first date.
Much pressure is often built
up, little or no chemistry, little or no fun, not enough attraction, too much
seriousness and eventually, nothing accomplished. Trust me, all of these
disappointments crush men in their quest for love.
A well planed first date gives way for a second and third one and most guys have zero idea about what to do on a first date. They literally don’t know the right place to go, what to say, how to act, and most importantly, they don’t know how to set up a second date.
Dates are supposed to be fun,
light and casual. Unfortunately, we forget all of these while trying to
impress our date. A little emotional display could be added to your date.
Here are some tips for your first dates:
1. Keep it short and simple (KISS)
This is to find out if you
have chemistry. Leave it on a high note with both sides wanting to see each
other again. Many run out of steam when they go too long on a date. They end up
saying awkward things they shouldn’t have said. Using KISS formula will help you out of this delima.
2. Time: Afternoon or evening
Several meanings or
interpretations could be given to night dates. So if you meet at night, she
might not be all in with the clock ticking or she’ll be wondering“Is
he going to invite me home with him” or you might be thinking“should
I invite her home with me.”This can cause
anxiety that has no reason to exist in the first place. Remove all form of
anxiety by meeting in the afternoon like coffee dates or launch dates. This
gives a sense of security and trust.
3. Ask positive emotional questions and not logical questions
The“Where
are you from?, What do you do?, Where did you grow up?”
questions are logical questions and not emotional.“What’s
the best meal you’ve eaten?,“What’s the best
compliment you’ve ever received?, Where would your dream vacation be?, what
would you do if given the opportunity to be…something she dreams of would be
best”.
4. Be unpredictable
Been predictable is equal boring
and great romance killer. Be silly if you’re and sarcastic if it’s your thing.
Tell a joke if you have a good one and should be easy to understand. You can
play light games etc. in all, just be a little bit different from others.
Smiling, laughing, and
teasing a woman demonstrates so much more than confidence and shows a woman
that you are a fun and down-to-earth person. She’ll also feel secure and free
to express herself. Smiles have a silent message of love and openness and no relationship
stands the test of time without love and respect.
6. No pretence
Posturing some superior or
better version of yourself is misleading to your date and could be a stumbling
block to your second date. Deception is a game that cannot be sustained and
causes dissatisfaction for both of you. This ought to be (1) on this list. It
is very important to be yourself in any date since the goal of dating is to
find someone who wants what you want, and wants that with you and it is
possible when you are your real you.
7. Why are you going on a date?
It is necessary to take a
moment to do psychological preparation before meeting your date. This put you
in a better chance for a second date. Ask yourself: Why am I dating? What’s my end-goal?
Am I ready for a committed relationship or just dating for fun? When you provide the right answers to these
questions, it helps you to engage in a manner consistent with your intents.
When your intentions are clear, your meeting will be purposeful and
satisfactory.
8. Have fun and don’t be all serious
Make up your mind before hand,
to have fun. Dating is somewhat game. You could either win or loose. Every time
you meet someone new, you’re gaining vital information as to what you want and
don’t want in a partner. No matter the outcome, this attitude allows you to
walk away with a gain you can keep.
9. Bathe or shower within few hours before your date
This could sound funny but
necessary. You don’t want to look worn-out or exhausted before your date. You
will make her feel guilty, like she dragged you to date. It is also important
you look fresh for your own good. Makes you appear calm, sweet and neat. Nobody
wants a date with offensive ***
10. Take some breath mints / mouth wash
This is strongly advised ‘Take
some breath mints with you and use within minutes of meeting your date’. This
is essential in keeping your breath fresh. Offensive odor from your mouth could
be the barrier to your second date.
11. Spray some high quality fragrance
on yourself
There is a feel good feeling
you experience when you smell good. Your level of confidence triples as well
and dates are more comfortable when you smell good.
12. The right place
First dates should be as
casual as possible. Though we want to impress our date in our first outing and
that is why light dates are advised at first and should be afternoon. Do not go
to the cinemas or a music concert on a first date. You could save those types
of events for second and other dates.
13. Excessive flattering
Do not become excessively
flattering toward a woman on a first date. This could send mixed messages and
misinterpreted thereby hurting your second date. You could flatter but not
excessive. Instead of flattering your date, give sincere compliments.
Compliments are genuine and obviously could be expecting it from you to test
your level of observance. Women appreciate and feel loved when a man gives
attention to little details about their looks etc. compliment her dress,
hairstyle, fragrance etc and you have half ticket for a second date. Wink!!
14. Never spend more than you budget for
It is important to have a
budget for your dates. This will help you not to spend more than necessary.
This is one of the reasons you need to carefully decide where you are going for
your date. It should be a place within your means.
15. Similar to (3) above, never
discuss any subject matter on a first date that is not important to helping you
determine if the lady you are on the date with is long-term or not.
In this case, frequently used
magic word is ‘why’. It is a useful one you don’t want to forget. Aside the what questions, find
out why they do what they do or why they like that song etc. this will get them
to reveal more about their personality and create a deeper connection which is
key for better communication.
Wrong mindset beforehand
could totally ruin the date. First date can be a complete mess. Hence it is
important to remind yourself that a bad first date is not the end of the world.
Learn from your mistakes for a better chance.
17. Pay on your first date
Unfortunately, you have to
pay on your first date if you want to see her again. You have to pick up the bill.
It’s the thoughtful thing to do and you wouldn’t believe how many guys try to
see a lady again after making her pay or split the bill. You’ll look lame and
cheap if you do so.
18. Call her before the date
You will look irresponsible
if you don’t call her before the date to confirm the details of the date.
Remind her of the venue for your date and time etc.
19. Don’t be late
You asked for a date, then
you have no reason to be late on your date. Don’t forget to show up looking
your best. When she approaches, open your arms and give her a friendly hug. Avoid
handshake on a first date can be awkward.
20. Be polite
Don’t be rude to your date
and anyone assigned to attend to you like the waitress etc.
21. No Cell Phones
With reference to (20), never
take a call or text during your date as this could be perceived as been rude.
Though you could, if only it is urgent. In which case, make sure you tell her
who and why you have to take the call/text, otherwise she may assume it is
another woman. Oops!
No cell phones during the
date also mean you are completely present and she got your full attention – there’s
nothing sexier than this.
22. Her safety should be your concern
Make sure she gets home
safely. Show her you care about her and her safety. Make sure you drive her
home, pay for the cab ride home, or walk her home and ensure to call to know if
she arrived safely if you didn’t drive her yourself.
23. The next 24 hours ‘conditional’
If you really enjoyed the date
and you want to see her again after all considerations, make sure you call or
text her the next day (within 24 hours) but preferred morning. Let her know how
much you enjoyed the date and her company. Her response could be ticket for a
second date. Remember to use our unique formula ‘KISS’.
24. Preconceived ideas
This is one of the causes of
failed second dates. There seems the be a urge to check out our dates online
via Google and other social media platforms. This will surely leave a
preconceived idea about the person you are to meet. So resist the urge to
Google her. Just say no and interact with her like you just met.
25. Follow up message
This is different from (22)
above. This has to come that night just before going to bed. Send her a sweet
follow up text message. Remember to use KISS - “Sleep tight and promise you’ll
dream of me too”. And dream she will***.
26. Don’t drink to stupor
I’m sure she won’t want to be
picking you up off the floor. You need to remain in control and don’t make a
fool of yourself by slurring your words and spitting in her face. Gosh, that’s
irritating.
27. Be conscious of body languages
Give her good eye contact. I
don’t mean stare at her suspiciously. Try not to be defensive and cross your
arms over your chest, and by all means make reference to (5) above ‘smile’.
Touch her arm during the conversation which will indicate that you’re
interested in her. Of course don’t be too aggressive by putting your arm around
her. Take note of what her body language is saying too. If she is put off by
your touch you don’t expect her to tell you verbally right? Etc.
28. Pay with reference to (17) but!!
Don’t make a big deal of it.
It says a lot about you and nothing too good if you’re asking her to chip in
for her meal. Nevertheless, if a lady never offers to contribute after a few
dates; could be a serious relationship red flag you don’t want to ignore.
29. Listen and be in-charge
Women naturally love men who
listen and take charge!
Ask questions about what she
does for fun, her interests and hobbies. Then use the information gathered to
take charge and plan a date. There’s nothing worse than a man with no plan who
asks.
30. Establish a brand that she will easily remember
Most guys don’t see the need
of this, but it is really handy. Have a code/brand you live by. This is where
you can stand out from your competitors. For instance:“I
always do what I say I’m going to do, and stick to the time I say I will do
them. If you set a standard and then follow through she will trust and respect
you.
31. Don’t set high expectations
Don’t plan the outcome of any
date. Let it flow naturally. You need to clear your mind, be open and cool with
whatever happens. Only plan on making a new friend. Otherwise, you will be greatly
disappointed if it doesn’t go as expected.
32. Relax before hand
It is recommended to spend 1
to 2 hours relaxing and having fun before the date. This will help you show up
relaxed and spirited. Before the date, stretch frequently, drink room temperature
water, watch TV but not a too serious program, preferred; a funny movie, chill,
and laugh a lot so your mind is clear and stress free. Your date wants a relaxed
and fun guy and not a nervous and stressed guy.
33. Don’t talk too much you
She’s really not overwhelmed
by your job, car, profession, money, etc. Be a good listener, let her talk, be present,
and be interested in what she says by answering her questions, asking her too and
don’t elaborate about yourself too much. One of the best ways to impress a lady
is to not to brag about yourself and your achievements. Never talk more than
she does!!!
34. Common ground
For every first date, this is
as pretty much as essential as every other point shared. Connect with your date
by finding that interest you two.
Building bond, trust, and
comfort is the most important thing on a first date. A woman just isn’t going
to want to see a man again if she doesn’t feel emotionally connected to him or
something interesting about him. Find similar interests with your date and talk
about things you both enjoy to really connect with her. Feeling connected is
the ultimate attraction for a woman.
35. Be bold
Being unquestionably bold,
you demonstrate that you are 100% comfortable and totally confident. Women pick
up on this and they love seeing men who are confident in who they are and not
what they aren’t. Be bold and confident.
36. End the date appropriately
Walk her to her car, taxi, or
bus if you are not driving her. Remember her safety is your concern. Care about
how she gets home. Give her a hug when right.
Bonus
When you first see your date,
greet her with a big smile and let her know you are happy to see her. If it’s Wink!!
Summary
What is her mood at first
sight? If she’s crabby or distracted, you’ve got some work to do. You need to find
a way to make her laugh or get her talking about her day and be present and
make meaningful contributions all through her talk.
Note how she looks at you
when you’re talking. If she breaks eye contact for an extended period of time,
you’ve lost her. But you can bring it back with a question of interest.
What is her body movement like? Is her body leaning towards you or away from you? If she is increasing the space between you, this means she’s lost interest and if it is the later, keep going. And does she purposefully touch you more than once? If yes, you’ve got a winner!
It’s not rocket science to be a perfect date, but just like all walks of life, a first, honest and lasting impression goes a long way.
Picture: Pixabay
37 Best First Date Tips For A Successful Date
Reviewed by Civian
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Reviewed by Civian
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22:38
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