Relationship Standstill And How To Come Out Of Them

Think about relationships this way:

(A) - Regardless of who you are, relationships tend to go something like this: you meet and greet, you fall for each other, and you end up dating. After a while, you grow apart for various reasons, and one of you gets dumped.

(B) - You have a huge argument, the one that makes every single thing about the relationship different, but for some reasons, you never broke up, which is very rare though. But since most people will break up at least once while they’re together, especially after a big argument. After some time, you make up, work on things seriously and eventually mature as a healthy couple. Unless you just never get back together.

Read: 11 Signs He Is Willing To Change

Why your relationship isn’t progressing

What could possibly be standing in the way of your relationship -moving on to the next level? Here are 10 possible reasons.

1. One of you feels like you haven’t accomplished purpose or made enough progress in life. This is mostly attributed to men. That statement is half true. Women feel the same too, but slightly different. Women want to be successful and accomplish certain career or other goals too but most won’t turn down a proposal if they haven’t accomplished those goals yet. Though they will wish it had happened a little later. Everyone wants to get certain things done before getting married.

2. One of you don’t feel that “rush” since “you’ll be together forever.” Though, it’s a fact that you’ll be together forever and everyone knows about the rush. Everyone reaches an age where their friends are getting married. Then, it’s like a giant race to married life. Meanwhile, others feel the pressure to reach a certain stage in a relationship.

Every relationship has its own rhythm. Whatever your version of the “rush” is, one of you isn’t on the same page, not out of any negative feelings, but because they know you’re the one. It’s like saying “I love you, and know you’re the one for me, but because of that same reason, I don’t feel the need to rush, so let’s sit here and enjoy the standstill for a while.” Hilarious right? In all honesty, it’s both annoying and romantic.

3. Fear of commitment. For long-term relationships, which are the ones that get to the standstill part, obviously, it’s common to have a fear of commitment.

Chances are, you’ve been together for awhile. What if you are afraid of taking a bigger step, since the whole long-term thing seems pretty long. Not everyone feels this way, but it is pretty common.

4. With reference to #3, you’ve simply have not sat down to talk about what the next step means in your relationship. That level of communication isn’t open yet and sooner or later, you still have to talk about it. It’s not that you don’t want to talk about it, though it could be.

If you’ve been together for years, then yes, you can have a much more serious talk. You’ve invested so much time already, and clearly, you feel like the next step isn’t coming fast enough. Opening that level of communication is important.

5. Insecurity. Think about this, is your partner feeling jealous of your colleague at work? Are you wondering if your partner still finds you attractive as they once did? Do you feel less important in the relationship? Do one of you feels like they’re just not worthy of the other anymore?

Insecurity in relationship brings things to a halt. It’s basically prevents access to the next phase in the relationship. If you or your partner is unsure about something, it’s best to lay it out clearly, and resolve the issue as soon as possible.

Read: Important Rules To Make A Relationship Last Long

6. Finances. If you don’t have enough money, you can’t move in together, can’t go on as many date nights, can’t get married, can’t plan a family, can’t take that first vacation together. Money is important in any relationship.

If you’ve been with your partner for years and you’re both broke, chances are, that dream of moving in together won’t come to reality anytime soon.

7. Growing apart, but not knowing what to do about it. With reference to #5 and #6, insecurity and finance can make partner grow apart gradually.

There’s a stereotype that when you’re with someone and you don’t see eye-to-eye anymore, you simply grow apart. In reality, most people have a tough time with this. Even if your partner is completely different from what they were two months ago, you still have the feelings, the memories, and the desire to make it work. Only, you don’t know what to do about the situation.

8. Relationship issues need to be sorted out and not bottled up. This is the most common of all reasons. It could be that you, your partner, or both of you feel like there are things you need to take care of within the relationship, before taking the big step to the next stage.

It could be that your partner has issues opening up to you. It could be that you aren’t entirely truthful all the time. It could be that you both argue too much, over little things. It could be anything! If it’s taken a toll on your relationship, there’s a good possibility that it’s the reason you’re at a standstill.

9. One of you is still hanging onto youth a little longer or feels too young for commitment. Two separate methods of reasoning about the same thing. Hanging onto youth means you know, even subconsciously, that you should grow up. Your age says so. Your relationship more so. And yet, you just don’t want to let go. You want to be able to stay out till dawn and make poor choices.

10. Taking things for granted. One, or both of you, could be making the mistake of taking things for granted. It could be that you’ve been together for so long, you assume they won’t leave. It could be you’ve come to expect a certain treatment from your partner because you’re so used to it.

Read: How To Deal With A Dry Texter

Whatever you’ve gotten used to, one or both of you has reached the “I expect it” zone, rather than the “you didn’t have to, but thank you” zone. You may even feel like you expect them to be there, even if you slack off on responsibilities. You might throw priorities away, since they have their situation organized. Surely, they’ll take care of things for you. No. This is leading to a standstill because your partner isn’t your parent.

Relationships are made up of several stages, and every single person has their own perception of the right pace. No two people are exactly the same, so why should it be different with relationships?

Relationships aren’t supposed to be one event after another. There will be pauses and lulls, and that’s where the feeling of being at a standstill comes in. However, you must understand that relationship standstills aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, they’re just a pause before the next big event arrives in your lives.

Picture: Pexels

Relationship Standstill And How To Come Out Of Them Relationship Standstill And How To Come Out Of Them Reviewed by Ilalokhoin Jude on 14:23 Rating: 5

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